Adulting, Independence

Adulting: Positivity

As an autistic, it can be hard at times to maintain a positive outlook on life. Being independent can deter this greatly to the point that negativity brews until you have an outlet, specifically a person that supports you to vent this to. It can be a challenge for them to hear your constant rants of negativity time and time again. Therefore, it is essential to have a positive outlook on your life, come whatever circumstances one may experience.

Now I know coming from me this is the pot calling the kettle black, so to speak. However, oftentimes autistics such as a myself likely face challenges putting a positive spin on their life continually. Being autistic mostly isn’t easy. Its like a square peg trying to fit in a world that’s filled with round holes. An autistic childhood has an adverse experience for everyone to where getting through the day without a meltdown can often be an achievement. Coming of age, getting through a month without an incident was a milestone to be proud of. I didn’t have it easy and some of it could have been prevented if I had actually applied the skills, I was taught instead of being such a stubborn spoiled little brat and demanding to get my way, as I was many times granted.

Someday, when the school years end and that peruviol cliff approaches where adulthood sneaks up to bite you when you don’t know it, knowing that everything can’t be coddled to your liking isn’t possible. It has taken me several years until recently to realize this. When I was unwilling to accept that I can’t always have it my way when I can tolerate the alternative with coping devices, skills, and mechanisms is how growing up should be and not throwing a hissy fit to garner negative attention because I feel that’s what I need for my personal entertainment

Pouting gets us nowhere. When we do if internally, it brings a negative affect to what might already be a rough upbringing that may not have seemed to have enough attention given to us by our outlook being flawed. We as autistics must learn as early as possible that we must use the skills given to us in those countless hours of therapies to make the change or outcome we must endure manageable to the best of our ability so we can be seen as one in the eyes of our peers that we can rock being autistic and show them that being autistic isn’t about having a meltdown in order to get our way.

A principle when we discover when something is changing or not happening the exact way or manner we planned it is to attain a positive outlook on its outcome. This at times can become difficult for many autistics, myself included. However, we must do it to show those who have the confidence in us to be a part of the team of whatever we are doing that we can manage our autism by utilizing the tools we keep under our belt when things change abruptly or when we do something unfamiliar to us.

Now, sometimes things happen with little or no warning, that is life. COVID has taught us that in a short order that the world can do a complete 180 and the unexpected can happen at a moment’s notice. Over the past year has not been kind to the autistic community and if anything it is gradually teaching  autistic individuals such as myself to be more adaptive to sudden change and be more positive about it because we won’t always have our family members to fight our battles or put up with our negativity, then who do we take it out on? Those on the receiving end out our negativity swirl can only take so much before accepting our limit and then they will be in a state of ignorance. We must learn by whatever skills we need to acquire whether that is through our coping devices and mechanisms or learning positive affirmations that we need to learn and grow and be a better person if we can so that we can thrive and survive in the scary world out there that is constantly evolving and not end up somewhere where we cannot succeed at being the true person we want to be without living in fear.

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