When one lives alone. A need often arises when one needs to shopping. To persons that are autistic or have several mental health challenges, this can become a struggle to do. As such when the willpower is not there, people will do with what they can by ordering take out or not eating at all. Part of adulting includes garnering up the courage to go to the store, purchase your items and bring them home and put them away.
My challenge is sometimes shopping alongside other customers, but ultimately at the last few tasks such as checking out, ensuring that the payment is secured, loading things into the car and getting things into my home. This can become a challenge if the weather outside is not favorable and makes the overall demeanor of the people helping me hindered especially if I am not in good spirits and not willing to pull my own share of the shopping load.
Yesterday, for example, I knew for a few days that I needed to go to the supercenter. I put It off until the last possible moment because It makes me anxious, especially as I stated in the above paragraph with the final activities. The weather wasn’t bad, but was unfavorable as it was hot. This was also the first time I established that I needed to shop with my own cart, something I have NEVER done in the three years or so of living independently. This was another factor that made it difficult in shopping.
Anyway, I was able to select my purchases with ease and when I was ready my mother and I (my ride) used separate checkout registers. My cashier went at a standard speed, and I did have a lot of items, but I didn’t get angry. Once payment was secured, I went out to the parking lot and found my mother’s car where I struggled to load my items, and as such entered into sort of a mini-rage stage where I got upset at my mother for a bit. She in turn, because she has heard this same “bitch chant” time and time again, especially when I purchase large items for myself, I complain about my home and the gratitude that I should show for her help.
Now that I have some time to think about it, I can see why I should be grateful for both elements of what I was complaining about. She makes me think of how lucky to get the home I have, even though it is on the second floor and there isn’t an elevator, it is a home and I should be thankful for the simple reason that the ability is that I have it Furthermore, I should be grateful that she can help and at times she bluntly stated that if I didn’t help and complained, that I should take the effing bus. So, in essence I realize that I need to work on this issue more in therapy and treatment.
When I came home, my neighbor was also putting groceries into their home and it made me realize that I am not the only one in this struggle and I need to be thankful for the things I do have instead of complaining for the things I don’t. My mother was nice to help me place some of my packages inside the doorway to my stairwell so I could carry them up the steps and put them in my home. As part of travel, as part of wear and tear, the case of bottled water I purchased became unable to be carried up the steps, so I did as my mother suggested and carried them up the steps and stored them the way she suggested I do should that incidence happen.
For people who are sensitive to change and unexptedness such as myself, when things don’t go the way that we want to can cause us to have challenging behavior, however we must realize if this occurs, we must address the issue at hand, as I will be doing in the future. Document patterns and journal what interventions work and what do not along with what triggers the unpleasantness. Discuss the things that you journal with the professionals you see so that you can work on a possible solution to solving this issue and overcoming it, so that it isn’t such a nuisance in the future and you can overcome additional challenges.
Dustin's Dynasty 