Well, we knew it eventually would come. The New Normal. Like many other states that are returning to a new sense of normalcy over a year since the nation was crippled by a virus that we initially knew little about. We are feeling comfortable again returning to some things that were once held virtually. Within the beginning of the new month in my state all but the universal masking orders will be allowed to expire.
While many haven’t been practicing physical distancing in the last few months because of being vaccinated or just being plain tired, we must remember to not let our guard down. Be mindful and keep out distance. While we do have three vaccines that are proving mostly well, they are nothing but extra armor that can defend us should we become infected. Additionally, it doesn’t take away the need to be tested should one be in contact with someone. Just if you test negative you will not be required to follow extended quarantine protocol.
These adverse upcoming changes along with the increasing of capacity limits at the day program has made me a little anxious. While I am glad to see people return to the program after a year, old and new. It can be a challenge with the limited seating to find the seat that I am used to sometimes. This can be upsetting as I don’t want to always sit in a different place or somewhere unfamiliar to me. I know this is menial to me, but to me it is the way I am used to things and to deviate from the course can be difficult.
There have also been many changes to the day program as numbers increase as well as new hires and events changing. Some I can control my involvement, some I cannot. When I cannot control a major change such as a someone new joining the day program team, it can be difficult as it has been when starting to meet so many that I have met up to 17 years ago. They get to know me as time goes along and I get to know them as well.
Sometimes, I get frustrated when changes are on the horizon, and within the past year and a quarter, I have had a good host of changes. In this regard I can talk the talk but not walk the walk. Other individuals that I work alongside at the day program have increased issues with circumstances out of their control, but I am reminding them when this occurs that things happen sometimes and that we have to be accepting of them. Yet, I can not follow my own motto to this person that one of my best friends had to tell me about the need to lighten up a little and not get so overworked on when changes occur, not to make any snap decisions and handle the changes with a little grace.
Change in autistics is a known challenge, I oftentimes mask what I am feeling and then vent it out to someone that I consider it my safe person. But when someone who wants to be there for me says don’t be in a negative attitude and that they care so much that I can’t push them away because they show that they care. It wants to reduce me to tears because it actually shows me that there are actually people outside of my immediate family that care about me. Now I know that people care, but it’s the fact they can sense that I am pushing away when they are reaching out to me and they do it because they honestly care and are worried about me. The same can go for the staff at the day program that show their kind gestures at times because they know that I am struggling with the changes that life brings.
Life’s been good to me in the last six months, and I am finally getting a grip on my health for the time in 22 years. I am doing well in so many aspects in my life that I show such ungratefulness towards those that love and care about me that it’s a wonder why they continue to line up on a daily basis to deal with my games and loads of malarkey. If someone says don’t push me away and that they care, or they keep coming back into your life time and time again doing nothing but help you get through life, treasure them and respect them as much as you can because if they leave your life, you will surely be hurt in the end. They will be there for you.