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In the world of COVID-19, I know the last things we could be thinking about
is friendships. However, may they be virtual, texting, messaging, whatever
other method the are other than the traditional in person method. Sometimes
understanding the lingo of them and the “body language” can ever be difficult
to comprehend because of an autistics inability to pick up on the signals.
I have been watching other vloggers on this and sometimes they oftentimes
say it is not until after the other friend makes their point that it understood
by the autistic themself. This in the end can be disappointing as you at first
didn’t pick up on this signal and for some time didn’t realize it until it’s
too late to connect and make a connection.
Over the years it always hasn’t always been easy to communicate with others,
although I do better than I did in the past. I can now get to the point of making
a greeting, opposed to the past when I would just shake my head. Sometimes in
my work, if I personally can disclose my autism, people if they do not see me
in person, wonder if indeed seem like I have it. Even so, it has taken years and
years of therapies to get to this point. Sometimes with skill training,
sometimes just by picking up ques, whether it be the countless hours in school
of Speech Therapy (those were awesome times!). Times in vocational training school,
or just having people initiate conversation with me.
Last weekend, while texting one of my
best friends who I have known for five years now and is visually impaired, I
asked him what my first impressions of myself were. He bluntly said that I
acted like a d*ck. That may be very so true because I was a sheltered person and
was a blunt-worded person myself and didn’t seem like the kind of person that
sought to be acquainted with others throughout personal or professional relationships.
However, times had changed. I opened my social outlet that the day program provided
me. Instead of eating my lunch away from the other individuals, I chose to eat
with them. Even so during this pandemic, although we do sit one to a table now.
But the conversations have changed over the years and have so much more opened
up to a point where I truly feel as if it is my safe place and I am using the
program and supports there for the purpose that it is intended for. Yes, they
got me a job and other opportunities that I am ever so thankful, however
everyone needs a friend in their life that gets it and understands you for
Sometimes, while that friendship isn’t always the perfect one you are always
working for. It can take some mutual agreeing to get to a happy medium that all
sides of the friendship are satisfied. No friendship is perfect but being straightforward
in what you as an autistic struggle with can assist you in getting your value
and making both sides satisfied. Sometimes, you may need to specify that you as
the autistic need the alone time and need to take a break to focus on your special
interests, cope, whatever it may be, In the end it will be a perfect friendship
in the end and it will pay dividends off in the future.
Don’t take friends for granted, you won’t know how lonely you’ll be without