Everything Changes

In my Johnstown days I was introduced to a wide array of music by my roommates, one of those bands would be Staind. While I was enorlled there, their Chapter V would be released. My roommate and I made the two-bus trip across the Greater Johnstown Area to Circuit City to supply our music. Anyway, there is a song on that album that stuck with me for several years after “Everything Changes.”

Those two words are now a common metefore. This months for one reason or another have become a wide array of series of changes that have occured beyond my control. In two weeks time my demeanor has changed about the events immensely. I have also had an epiphany of sorts seeing why I act differently to those close to me, so in a way that has helped too.

Several things have happened within the last two days. Yesterday, I go to the local hospital to get weighed and to workout. Because of the cold weather and Daylight Standard Time, I have been having someone transporting me as I have to be there before sunrise. Another change was that I had my workout clothes on as it was my day off. Nonetheless, my mother dropped me off and I entered the building. As I went to the chapel as I do on a weekly basis to have daily devotion and prayer, of which my cell phone is an important tool in this, I could not locate it. I searched twice and I did not panic, I took a deep breath and proceeded to head to my destination where I know a “house” phone is available to make local calls. I having my prodigy of a memory, call my mother on her cell phone who verifies that she has it and will return it to me after work. I said I would be fine until the lunch meeting with my father in a little over five hours as their was a world before cell phones. (Really?) She said she would let my dad know and we hang up.

If this happened to me five years ago, this could have been a totally different situation. One instance I remember that we were out together, and I lived with them then. When I realized my phone was missing when I was getting out with her at the grocery store, she called my phone for the slight chance that it might be in the car. When the voicemail came on, I screamed “Whoever has this phone, I hope you do the right (Expletive) thing.” I said this not realizing that message could only be heard by me as I was the only one who could (at the time) have access to to the voice mail. What I didn’t also realize was that the one who cared the most was right beside me. Reality sunk in when my we returned home and my mother made me play that message to see how idiotic it made me sound and how I acted. It makes me embarassed for me to hear myself.

Fast forward to the present time, I got weighed, worked out and had breakfast at the hospital. Following that I ran errands then stopped by the library to use texting app on the cell phone carrier website to make sure anything wasn’t wrong, then my weekly appointment, of which I resumed my normal routine with my father until I saw my phone again, yes some friends were checking on me, but I let them know I was fine.

Today, I was notified that there would be slight change in my transportation from work when I return. At first brewed upon it for some time (another blog post for another time) then realized that it hardly didn’t affect me other than one small thing.

In a world where “stuff happens” Autists must accept change and garner the skills necessary to regulate their emotions gracefully. It has been a great process since first diagnosed when change has occurred in my life, however with the proper skills and technique, you can control these symptoms.

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