Angry and Hopeless

NOTE: Paraphrased from: Angry and Hopeless

I really, really, really hate this pathetic excuse of a planet and literally everything about it.

I’m autistic, which means I’m supposed to be the person who has ‘no empathy’ and ‘doesn’t care about other people’.

But in reality the opposite is true. I have had enough of coming across people who are completely disconnected from the reality of life for others who are struggling and don’t even take a second to consider what life is like for them. Especially professionals who are supposed to have a duty of care for these people.

Yes,  I get it, they have a life too, but their duty while they are paid to be with the individual is just that, be and see to the need of the individual.

Imagine watching a tap drip reaaaalllllyyyyy slowly, waiting for it to fill up the world’s biggest sink. But the plug isn’t in, and the drips represent your hopes, dreams, joy, happiness or anything positive that you are hoping will come into your life, whilst knowing they aren’t going to come because you have searched everywhere on the planet for that stupid plug and you know it doesn’t actually exist.

This is what it felt like. Like I was waiting for a miracle fix for my life. Being certain there wasn’t one; but waiting anyway.

Even if all I can do is make someone smile or laugh (which is why I am such a numpty most of the time), or join in their rant about people or lack of support so they know they are not alone, I will do that.

90% of autistic children are bullied at school and their suicide rate is 28 times higher than the general population. People with ADHD receive on average 20,000 insults more than other children by the time they reach the age of 18. 20% of children struggle with anxiety at any point in their childhood. This is why I am angrily writing this post.

Because nothing ever changes.

The whole system is broken and no one knows how to fix it.

People say and do things which make these children feel awful and don’t take a moment to think about the impact they have.

Professionals do the bare minimum during their day job to get their wages, then relax and enjoy their evening, without caring about the fact that they have ruined a young person’s day. Or that while they are relaxing, the young person is extremely distressed and is desperate for support.

I’m going to stop here because the list is never ending.

Maybe people just don’t know what it is like when you are in such a difficult situation, despite it being extremely common amongst SEND children and young people. In fact, maybe it is impossible to know what it feels like unless you have been there? If people knew, there is no way they would continue as they are.

In summary, I might not be where I want to be right now, but I will get there and there will be the RIGHT help, and I have always had some of the greatest professionals, and not some of the greatest, but I always seek the best out of it.

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