It has been a long few years. I really began to accept who I needed to be. This contrasts with who I want to be. I had battled with medication adherence for many years. Part of that struggle was because I didn’t like certain things about myself. I also struggled with the weight gains that I had experienced. I finally realized it was better to deal with the medication first. Once I handle that, I can combat the issues with my body second.

Taking mood stabilizers and antipsychotic medications often leads to weight gain. This is a common factor linked to these medications. It has been something that I battled with for a very long time. The battle is tough when you keep gaining weight. There have been many times when I was not of sound mind. I lost weight during those times but paid the price in many areas. I crashed and burned. My symptoms became more observant. It became a necessary evil that I had to start to accept.

Part of the reality was that I had to choose to look and feel good about myself. I had to start to have some dignity along with not caring about what others thought of me. Yes, sometimes it can hurt when we seem bullied. Yet, it can also make us stronger. It helps to start doing the right thing. I began to love myself for who I needed to be. I realized there was more value in my mental well-being. Then it became easier to see the importance of being the best that I can be.

I had to learn that it was going to take the hard way to combat my physical health issues. Without a doubt they were something that needed to be addressed. I always wanted to take the easy way out. I didn’t understand the dangers and consequences of doing so. Thus, it was hard to understand how crucial my medication is to me.

It took understanding a crucial fact. There is more value in mental wellness than in your appearance or in what weight you have on the scale. Others are going to say what they are going to say. If you neglect to take care of your mental health, something more visible occurs. It seems foolish and worrying. I had to understand a pivotal point. Whenever something was always of concern, it was due to my neglect of mental health.

Yes, there are times when I do feel down and out about my image or what I feel like. But I know that work towards who I want to be and look like starts with me. I know that I need to work things like physical health and eventually I will get there, but what it takes knowing that being mentally well and doing what it takes there speaks more volume than any weight on a scale