As autistic people, we can struggle with change or doing something new to us. I am no exception. I can be the one to give a million excuses as to why I don’t, won’t or can’t do something. Sometimes it takes those that know me best to give me a push. They consider including me in something, even if I don’t think I want to join or care to. As is true for many things in my life, I take steps to join the community harvest night. I attend church in person, go to work, and step away from the safety of my desk. I take one for the team because those who know and care for me see the benefits. They know that I will enjoy it and not be upset when something happens that would not have been possible.

One significant example of that, which occurs constantly nowadays, is when my mom practices small acts of self-care. These actions help her with her life. At times she will include me because she knows that I at times equally know it is valuable to me. She called me last fall to ask me to go to a harvest market in our town. I vehemently refused. I did not want to go. But, she said she was on her way. I knew she would be here in a matter of minutes. I did not want to cause a ruckus. So, I went through with it, even though I was skeptical about going.

I got in her car for the short journey through the town to her event. I was irritated and did not want to park on the street. You can park on the street if it is legal. We visited different vendors along the street. The chamber of commerce hosted the event. They had raffle baskets of which I bought a ticket. It was the tear off tabs. There were two things that I really wanted. I wanted either a gift card to a local grocery store. The other option was a bundle of Tupperware, which was being discontinued.

Shortly after getting home, I learned that both my mother and I had won. I had won the Tupperware, which was a much-needed addition to my kitchen. Doing this helped me become more patient. It allowed me to appreciate even the smallest acts extended to me. It seems uncomfortable. It can cause sudden changes. But, it does not mean it is the worst thing to happen that day. It is not the worst thing to happen anytime in the world.

Change can always be hard for an autistic person to accept. Sometimes we have to just do what makes us unknown or uncomfortable. Sometimes what we want to believe just isn’t true. It is often our anxiety producing adrenaline and cortisol causing us to want to react to something that we fear. It also doesn’t help when we fear something being the worst thing in the world. We must learn and accept our feelings. This includes anxiety or fear. We need to work with them, not against them.

Anxiety has been a part of the fabric of my life for a very long time. I am slowly learning how to cope with it. I am overcoming it over time by doing my best to cope. This includes being willing to take a chance and step out of my comfort zone when needed. It also means being brave and realizing that it’s anxiety that is causing my mind to play games. I am learning to tackle the issues effectively. It is my issue to fight, and I will not let it consume me or others.