Throughout the past several years, I have gone through alot of things. Some things made life better than others. Some events made me realize I needed to give things a chance. Even though I wanted to avoid it, it would be good. I need to be patient. I noticed that as much as I despised change, I needed to stop avoiding it. I had to see how it would work out. Most of all, I needed to understand that the past was the past. I had to accept what was, even if it provided discomfort. Instead, I needed to learn and grow with things as they evolved.

Even a decade ago I was a completely different person. I am doing things that I would never have done then. I struggled greatly with my mental health in the first six or so years living on my own. During this time, I learned that because of my inability to stay regulated, I would bluntly argue. I often pointed out the faults with those I had passion to be verbally argumentative with them. Even members of my own family.

I learned many things over the past few years. I learned to be a human being. It was okay to be one. No matter what the situation, people make mistakes. Things happen that are often out of our control, or we can’t have the answers to. I had to learn to have things the way they needed to be. I had to do what was expected of me. Even if it makes me uncomfortable and anxious, I often want to run away from the unknown and uncomfortable. But if I give things a chance, that change can actually be a good thing. This is also hard for an autistic being like me.

I also learned how not caring about my mental health can be detrimental to my wellbeing. Many people are scared when I don’t care for myself, even if I don’t want to. I’ve reduced people including myself to tears. Yet, many of those same people supported me in the tough times. They have been there for me as I got back on track time and time again. Finally, I understood it is important to do what is needed at every interval. Mistakes happen. I know it is crucial to pick myself up. I need to get back on track as soon as I can. This means making sacrifices and doing what needs to be done.

Over the past few years, I have been making new friends. They have helped me along the way with my existing network of connections. These connections help me navigate many challenges. My friends continue to be inspired by my story. They also share the struggles I have faced over the years. I am grateful for each and every friend that I have and continue to meet along the way. I have also learned that it is important to be kind to everyone that comes to me. People come from all segments of life because, like them, they know me for who I am. I understand the need to carry that in all facets of my life, regardless of who they are. They matter just as much as I do. It is important that I am not rude or exclude them. I have once been there. Most times it doesn’t cost anything to share a few minutes of time with them.

Lastly, there have been a lot of family issues the past few years. This has essentially helped me become a better person. It showed me that I need to pay it forward. I want to be there for my family when they need me. I need to be a support rather than acting the way I did in the past. I want to close this year by leaving my past behavior behind. I also know it’s important to use it as a learning experience. I never want to act that way with anyone again. I am truly sorry. I value you more than anyone I have ever met. You know and have made sure that I was OK. You ensured I was doing my best even when I knew I was not. You were the rock that helped me see that I needed a goal. I realized I needed to start making things right. I wanted to close this year on a good note. I also know how important family and faith are. It’s crucial to always take the time to make memories. We need to accommodate each other so we can be there for each other no matter what it takes.

Merry Christmas to you and yours! The Best of the Holiday Season to you and yours!