In the last few months, I started learning something important. Doing what is good for me has more power when it is consistent. After years of dancing a very dangerous dance, I had to accept and learn what was important. I learned to be consistent and mature when taking care of my mental health. I realized the value of doing things that were beneficial.

It was hard to be off and on the wagon of taking care of myself. I not see the danger I was doing to myself and others until it was too late each time. I had to let go of the flawed thoughts about how I was treating myself. I believed something good would happen, but it was quite the opposite. It can be hard to see the value in doing what needs to be done in a regimented way. Doing so kept me at my best at all times.

All of those things were hard when I started doing the right thing. They were only hard because of the damage that I had done to myself. I was not proving anything to anyone by not taking care of myself. Instead, I was living the textbook definition of the illnesses that were handed to me. Because of both the flawed thoughts and enjoying what I was experiencing, I often couldn’t see the damage being done. It was too late when I realized, and the cycle kept repeating itself again and again.

I eventually decided to let go of what I had long felt. I finally saw that I was hurting myself repeatedly. It didn’t matter what I did to myself. I also realized the hurt I caused others. I also saw that there was no consistency along with unreliability when I was not taking care of myself. I also had to learn that when others were asking about me, they were asking in good faith. They wanted me to be honest because they honestly cared too.

Letting go of what was is a big factor in moving on. It was just as important to be consistent with caring for myself. It was important to understand that mistakes did happen. It is crucial to do what I need to do to get back on track. This remains true regardless of how much my mind tries to convince me otherwise. Even if I didn’t, I would be fine. I learned that if I recovered quicker from my fumbled step, there was less damage. It was easier to recover than in times past.

I had to move ahead with things as they were. While I wanted perfection, I had to accept the progress I had made by being consistent. This progress was beneficial to me in its own way. It did not put me in the position where I was in the past. I had to start to let go of the old ways of thinking so that things were better for me. It took patience and understanding. Recognizing that doing what was good consistently proved more beneficial in the long run.