Oftentimes it can be hard to process my emotions as an autistic person through the other emotions that I experience. One of the biggest emotions that I experience is anger. It can be what can derail me at times and has quite often over the past several years due to me not taking care of my mental health. But as time has evolved, I have learned that my psychiatric medications can be quite the useful tools in being able to curtail my emotions of anger and irrtiability when it is diffucult to regulate myself.

Life is never easy. There can be times when the autistic brain is overworking and bringing up intrusive thoughts of things that are very challenging and complex. It can think of the unimaginable. Even things that don’t matter in the present state but years ago they did and want to cause you to ruminate about things that don’t even make sense. This can bring a sense of unwanted anger as if you want to do something that isn’t even valid. Sometimes the best coping mechanisms don’t even cut through the feelings that you are experiencing, but the main thing is that you continue to push through the best that you can through the anger.

There has been many times in the past several years that I have ruminated on many thoughts that have brought anger that I could not change. It was often about people that I thought I had control over but in reality it was things that I was led to believe or that I had a disapportinated view of. I had to eventually work through the thoughts and see how untrue they were and let myself believe what was really true and valid about myself and not everyone else that I had wanted to control because I had thought if I had done that, it would make my life better, instead it made things worse for me and the other parties too.

It took working through the feelings and thoughts and understanding how invalid they were. I had to learn to let all the medications that had long proved themselves to work be what they could do and fight through the side effects along with busting they myths and flawed thoughts and allow myself to see that things were better if I had followed all the medications that were ordered to me and not believe what I had wanted myself to believe. I had to be able to see that the particular med that I was fighting against was really intended to help me be able to not feel the anger that I was feeling that brought the intrusive ruminating thoughts that I was experiencing at the moment. Being patient and allowing the medicine to do its work allowed me to let go of what I was experienceing.

But in additon to that it was the other natural tools that I had acquired over the past year or so that contributed to the want and desire to stick to those thoughts and instead take interest in the things that were more valuable to me and not so much as what I had thought I needed to take interest in. I had to also learn to let the anger that I was feeling go so I could be the best that I could be every day and not when I picked and chose to be. Mental Health matters every day, regardless of what is going on in my life. Part of that was understanding that not taking care of my mental health and the one particular medication that I was fighting from affected me in so many ways that it was hard to see but over time I did and I eventually learned that it all of medications were a win-win for so many reasons, including giving me the ability to see throught the anger that i was experiencing.