This year, I had begun to understand the importance of caring for my mental health. I stopped believing the old theories and habits. They long held space in my brain. Eventually, I began to understand that what I had long believed was untrue. I realized I would be just fine by taking my medication. Nevertheless, I had to be aware of the moments when I would want to fall into old habits. I had to let go of what I had long believed to be the way of the land.

It can be hard to let go of old habits. Especially when they are those that make you feel better than you need to be. I did not realize how much I was out of control when I was not taking my medication. I was living a life that I found pleasure in, but for all the wrong ways. I had to accept that it was better to take the medication. I needed to bear through the challenges the first few weeks. I had to wait until there was a build-up of medication in my body. The urge to feel better would come more as time progressed.

I had to let go of what was a part of when I did not take my medication. I learned that what I was doing was pointless and destructive. Others noticed and getting back on track was very difficult. I missed out on so much when I had to get back on track. What I had long believed to be true just wasn’t. I led a more fulfilling life just by taking my medication. I was more loved and enjoyed by those around me when I was taking care of myself. This was more than when I was not.

I knew I had to do the hard work. I had to be mindful of what I was doing to my body. This was to prevent weight gain. That slowly developed into new habits. It wasn’t perfect, but there were more better moments. I once believed the old ways were due to my unwillingness to cook healthy. Instead, I relied on food outside of the home, which had more calories than I realized.

I let go of those old habits through time. I began to develop new ones. I knew that my overall health depended on continuing to do the right thing. I had to let go of what was very unhealthy and challenging behavior. Although I did not openly admit what it was, I knew it was wrong. I realized I had to align my life with positive values. I knew it was the right thing to do. This eventually made me feel better, not because someone was telling me to.

Habits can be changed if I want to make the change. There was a part of me that knew that the bad things that happened were not really who I was. I had to bury the old habits and let go of the theories I had about my medication. I realized that once I got things under control, they would be much better. Doing what was right was worth way more than what the old theories and habits were.