Yesterday, I shared how to not believe everything that I read or understand. It is also important to understand reality by recognizing what can be done. It is crucial to know what is not possible to happen. There are expectations and rules that need to be followed. It is my duty to adhere to what I am ordered to do. While living independently has its freedom, there are things that just can’t be done.

I remember years ago. I had just graduated from high school. I had gone to the state vocational rehabilitation center for a vocational evaluation. It is a comprehensive program where I stayed on campus for three weeks. During the meeting with the dorm counselor, he mentioned something about the rules. He said they were “pretty much common sense.” It would be over a decade later that I would live independently. It would be two decades until I grasped a reality on what I was to do and not do.

The biggest barrier I faced when I moved out on my own was adhering to my medication regimen consistently. Until earlier this year, it was a constant battle. I needed to understand the importance of medication adherence. This understanding helped my brain stay in balance. As a result, I remained mentally stable. Eventually I understood that medication adherence is a crucial activity of living independently.

Med adherence played a pivotal role in ensuring that I stayed grounded. It took most of the seven or so years that I have been living independently to understand that. I always knew how essential it is to take my medications as prescribed. Despite this, there was a part of me that believed repeatedly it was not what I wanted. This was because I did not like aspects of the side effects.

I eventually came to terms that while I didn’t necessarily like the side effects that I had experienced. It was not the end of the world. These events affected me deeply. Other events happened at the same time. Together, they made me realize that things would be better for me. I understood I actually needed to do the work needed to combat them while remaining medication adherent.

While everything was able be combated, some made making better decisions for my mental health in a more different way. I would become part of the asexuality spectrum. I would also be part of the aromatic spectrum. This change gave me peace of mind for my sexual identity. It addressed the behaviors I was acting on when I was unwell. Yet, I still wanted some parts of an identity that was not commonplace. I did not want to feel pressured into adopting neurotypical values. I knew that was not humanly possible.

It took time to understand and come to terms with the realities of what I would experience in my life. Life happens differently for autistic people. I was diagnosed in the dark ages with criteria that I fell under. Because of this, not much was known in the areas I wanted to learn about. I had to learn about things in my own way to grasp reality. I needed to understand that there are consequences for not adhering to rules and expectations. Other covenants must also be understood and followed. Over time, things have gotten better for me. I am in a good spot mentally. I am more educated because of the experiences that I have had.