Getting back on track for your mental health can be challenging. This is especially true when starting mental health medication treatment. I fought that battle for the past two years. Then, I discovered that I just had to. I had felt that things were unfair for various reasons. Then, I realized it was worth toughing it out. I needed to care for myself in the way I needed to while being kind to myself in the process.

There have been many days when I started trying to get back on track. Many times that resulted in me sleeping for excessive periods of time. It took learning to accept that this is just how it is. This happens when you have mental health challenges. You take mood stabilizers and antipsychotics like I do. It can seem like life seems unfair because you have to feel the way you do. That time is robbed from you because of the medicine.

I would often regress when I thought of things not happening like time being taken away by napping. I had to take and evaluate my sleep. Was I getting enough sleep from the night before or not? Was life just overwhelming and I needed to just relax? These were things that I had to not only figure out but accept. I was angry for several years. I just wanted to stop taking the meds. They made me feel like it wasn’t worth it.

Through learning, I realized I had to be patient. I needed to set a small goal to see a difference with the medication taking effect. I also knew that doing what I was doing was pointless, destructive and had to come to an end. The medication was proven to work, and it was just my nonsense that quit it several times. I had to be patient with myself in the process. I also needed to set myself up for success by being kind and giving myself grace.

It is a proven fact that it takes time for things to work. I just had to be patient and understand that the things I would experience were part of the game. I also had to understand that I needed to take care of myself. This meant going beyond just adhering to the medication regimen. But I also had to be kind to myself. If I didn’t feel like cooking, I just didn’t. I took care of myself by ordering dinner from the local eatery. I needed to be kind to myself in the process. If I did nap, I made sure it wasn’t an excuse to miss day services or work. I also didn’t miss the medication that I was battling with. I had to fight my way through the rest of the day. I did this no matter how hard it was to do so.

In the end, I learned that it was more beneficial to keep adhering to my medication regimen. I also kept my small goals. This ensured that things would work out. I knew that what I was doing wasn’t effective. Research showed that it would eventually be pointless. Even be destructive. I had to do the work. I needed to be kind to myself by caring for me in the process. I needed to want to do it. I knew there was a better outcome if I remained patient with myself.