Anxiety can be a woven fabric in my life if I let it be. I have been working more on not letting it ruin my day. It can be hard to believe. I have allowed myself to squelch my anxiety. Now, I do not let it control my life, especially because of things that I can’t control. Life is too short. We have to live it the best way that we can. We should not constantly worry about things often out of our control.

I have to be honest. Reaching the point where I do not let my anxiety ruin my day became easy. It was a lightbulb moment. I realized that things were going to happen whether I worried about them or not. I take countless blocks of time to worry. Alternatively, I choose to live those moments in a joyful or therapeutic state. It was up to me. I eventually had to start loving myself. I needed to accept who I was and embrace the flaws that my challenges brought. Secondly, I had to learn that my anxiety was just that. It was my anxiety. It flared up often. I had to cope with things that crossed my path. They drove my anxiety.

I also learned that I had control of my reactions to situations. I controlled how I conducted myself in the outside world. I had to ask for help when I needed it. I always had to be mindful of how I acted when I was in the purview of others. One major realization was the necessity to speak to myself kindly. I needed to talk to myself as if I were talking to my best friend. I also needed to conduct myself as others in the outside world expected. Acting childish and immature was something that I had to move away from. I also realized that I acted that way because I was not taking care of my mental health properly. It was keeping me back from moving on with my life many times. I often had to pay the price for the pointless and destructive behaviors I was doing.

I had to let go of all that childish and immature nonsense. I needed to learn to mature into the adult I can be in many situations. I chose not to let the old ways, which were not helpful in many ways, continue to carry me. I was harboring old feelings that were unhealthy for me. I had to learn how to make a change after just repeating the same old cycle repeatedly. I had to believe in my ability to make the changes necessary. These changes were to get rid of those old feelings and ways of thinking about things, including my anxiety.

I had to realize my capabilities were greater. I achieve more than I allowed myself to believe. My way of living was childish and immature. It was still like this nearly half a year ago. This was very unhealthy for me. It was toxic to those who loved me during a time they did not need that in their life. I had to move on once and for all. It had to be up to me to make the change. I realized that I did not want my anxiety to ruin my day.