In my life as an autistic person, I also face co-occurring mental health challenges. Managing the hard parts of the day can be tough. There can be moments when you want to throw in the towel, but you can’t. You know you have to push through the hard moments, even sometimes when you don’t want to. It is sometimes easier said than done. Still, I keep on pushing through. I persist even when it is hard to do so.

I know that I am not a failure in those moments. I am not worthless either. My brain wants to tell me otherwise sometimes. I know that there is value in my life, no matter what I do in the course of my travels. I just have to find that little bit of joy that I need sometimes. This joy helps me get through the hard parts of life. By finding it, I can shift my life into a better place than what I am experiencing at that moment. Hard moments do not define me. Instead, they show my resilience. I push through when it is tough. I prove to those who doubt or knew all along that I actually do it.

Without a doubt life is challenging. There always seems to be something to throw a roadblock in the way of things just going smoothly. I know that I can’t let the things that I have no control overrule my life. Driving anxiety over these uncontrollable things is going to get me nowhere. In the end it is just a waste of time. I have to find better ways to occupy that time with activities I enjoy. These activities should keep me entertained. This way, I do not overthink things that lead me into a difficult situation to escape from.

In those moments, it can seem like there is no way out. I feel stuck in the hard part that I am experiencing. That was the old way that I thought about things. I hurt those that loved me. This year, I realized that my family did not have extra attention to give. It was up to me to deal with emotions in a healthy way. I needed to act without being threatening or toxic towards them, because they did not need it.

I had to take the initiative. I did the hard work to find things that helped me become a better person with my emotions. These things helped me keep my emotions under control. I knew that acting out or making threats wouldn’t get the attention of others. It was pointless and destructive. It only made things worse. I also knew that those that loved me were not always available. They do not save me when I felt I handle a situation on my own. So, I knew that it was best to work at finding better ways to cope with challenging situations. It meant putting in the hard work finding what work and what didn’t. I had to start applying some of the knowledge I already had. This helped me navigate those tough times that I was experiencing. I had to let go of my old, useless habits. I needed to find healthier ways to cope with unpleasant situations.

In the end, it is up to me to find my way out of precarious situations. I must navigate them when they feel dark. It is especially challenging to manage when they are tough. I can’t sit and stew on things that are out of my control. I had to do the hard work to find what worked for me, no matter how challenging it was. I had to make a change. Otherwise, things would not get any better. I needed to take the initiative to improve the situation.