Over the past seven years, there were several instances when I was not caring for my mental health. I neglected my adherence to my mental health medication. Looking back, it was a nonsense thing to do. It caused me to do so many risky things. I put myself in danger more times than I had even realized. Thankfully, I understood the necessity of taking care of myself. I realized that medication is a tool in my mental health recovery. It helps me move ahead in my life.

Looking back, there was many times when I was not thinking, and I felt powerless. As powerful as I felt. Deep down, the disease was working its magic. I thought I had myself under control many times. Yet, I often returned to the start of the cycle for getting better. I never recognized the need to care for my mental health. Even when many reasons existed. In 2025 I found that why and took the imitative towards making a change for caring for myself. But it made me think about the times that I wasn’t all together. I realized how I flirted so deeply with disaster.

By watching the experiences portrayed on TV shows like Shameless, I learned how the disease manifests. Seeing it on Law & Order: SVU helped me understand its impact. I also understood how important it is to take the medication prescribed to me. I spent countless time as a teenager in and out of psychiatric hospitals. I even endured a nine-month stay in a residential treatment facility to get the “cocktail” of medication to help me. Despite this, I was playing around with medicine. In turn, it played around with my brain, not allowing me to see the dangers I was experiencing.

This year, I eventually understood certain realities. These realities made becoming medication adherent necessary. It was essential for getting through life and keeping the things I needed to have. Over the past few months, I looked back at my experiences. I also considered the experiences of others. I realized the times when I was not my best. Now, I see it in a different light and realize how dangerous I was acting at the time. Things are different now. They are better than what they were back then. I had to learn to let go of the old ways. I worked towards new ways of thinking. I understood how medication is a useful tool in my mental health recovery.

I now know that caring for my mental health is necessary for me to live in my independent living situation. It is essential for me to work and go to day services. Ultimately, it is crucial for doing anything that requires effort. I hurt myself by destructing my mental faculties for an extended period. I also hurt those around me. I realized that I didn’t want to live that way anymore. I had to make a change for the better through all those things. It was hard at first. Eventually, it got better in the long run.

I realize that the way I was acting all those years ago was detrimental to my mental health. If it had continued, it would have put me in the hospital or the criminal system. Medication is a part of life. I had to accept that once and for all. I realized the dangerous behavior was pointless and destructive as time went on. Things were on the line. I had to make things right for once by getting on the right path.