A few months ago, the time came when it was the point to renew my goals at day services. In the past few years, it has been shown that it can be contentious. Understanding whether I need to continue day services is challenging. There were moments when I wanted to leave. I realized that my feelings were not based on my own reasons. Eventually, I realized I needed to understand my need to continue being there.

While before the point where the decision was made to what I would continue to do, things have changed. My primary staff had gone on medical leave and the director had left. That made things different, of course change is hard for autistic people, and I am no exception. Additionally, renovations and additions were going to be made to the building shell. This made it challenging for me to continue with my next goal. Through discussion with the staff on site, we decided to keep things status quo for the coming year. Things were going to be volatile and changing. I needed to continue to work on my personal wellness some more to be more optimistic.

It wasn’t hard to accept, as this was a hard truth. It brought the comfort of knowing that I was going to stay somewhere. A few weeks prior, I discovered that this was a necessity when I was battling with isolation at home. Last year, I thought about leaving day services. I believed things that really didn’t have any merit. Those that loved and worked with me became concerned with my personal wellness. There were conversations that were hard to have. I do not want to have those conversations ever again. I know I was at fault for doing what I was doing. In the end, I decided that I needed to stay with day services.

Over the past year, things have been all over the place. Now that my things with my father have been settled, there is a new reality that things are different. The ability to do things as I once did have diminished. I have realized I need to take better care of myself. This realization is stronger than it was last year. I need to work at becoming stronger. I must avoid doing the things I did for several years in the past. I had to work more with day services help. I also had to focus on taking care of my mental health once and for all.

Without a doubt there is a reality that things at day services are going to be different going ahead. Being capable of working on my mental health as part of that process will make me stronger. There is also the reality that taking care of my mental health is essential now more than ever. This includes being completely medication adherent. It’s crucial because of the things that are expected of my property management and other things that just happen.

I had to understand a reality. I need more time to become mentally grounded. I must work to prevent fresh events from happening again. Otherwise, I do pointless and destructive things. It is working at not doing those things because I know they can no longer happen. Certain things must happen for me to achieve what I need. These are necessary for me to stay well. Having more time will hopefully make me stronger in the long run.