Loving myself over the years has been hard to do for many years. Being autistic has presented challenges throughout my life. These challenges have made me always feel bad about myself. Yet, I have pushed through. I have ultimately determined that there is nothing wrong with me being the person that I am. I am OK just the way that I am.

Yes, I have flaws and flawed thoughts just like anyone else. But it takes seeing past them and knowing that they are just a part of who I am. There are things that I don’t like about being autistic. The one thing that is the hardest is having the anxiety that I have. It makes getting through life very difficult. It is like having the most crushing feeling where you feel inferior for just struggling. Yet, time and time again I push through.

But besides that, others like me for who I am. I just can’t see beyond that sometimes. Over the past few years, I haven’t made the best decisions for caring for my mental health. It did not prove to be the best decision. Ultimately, I need to put in work to combat the issues. These efforts are necessary to care for my mental health and manage being autistic. It isn’t easy, but it is the reality of the situation.

Yes, there are parts of me that are hard to accept but also need to be addressed. They are the hardest to get through on the hardest days. But I keep pushing through, even when the times get tough. Counteracting what I need to do over the years proved wrong in that process. So, it takes doing the hard work to see it pay off. It can be hard when things don’t go the way that we have planned.

But through all that, it takes knowing that others want us to be our best. That is what should matter about loving ourselves. It is knowing that we are to be loved for who we are. It is knowing that we are loved by ourselves. No matter how we look or what the challenges that we face in the world.

I know that there are so many people out there that care about me. It takes knowing that what makes me care for myself. It can be easy to not see that others care about me when I falter off my path. But in the end, they care when I am not myself. It is best to do what is needed to care for myself. Even if it is not directly spoken, it matters.

Ultimately, I love myself for who I am and what I do. If I wasn’t, I would be in the constant state of turmoil that I was in for years. It has taken me a long time to get to this point. It hasn’t been easy. But I know that I am thriving and not just surviving. That is what matters more than anything.