Being deeply seeded in both day services and supported employment for decades, it is easy to develop professional relationships. Sometimes these relationships become personal. When that professional relationship is severed, it can be difficult to transition. Developing and trusting a new professional relationship is challenging. This is especially true with those we must have a supervisory or authoritative relationship with.

Over the past few decades, I developed personal bonds with authority figures stronger than I should have. This was due to the nature of those who served me in the serving systems. At times, it was difficult to understand authority. I had seen them more as a friend than someone I needed to respect. It made their departures seem just as difficult. It was hard for me to understand that maybe their way of doing things was not correct. What they told me not have been healthy. It made it just as hard to develop better boundaries in the relationships going ahead.

Yes, I felt lonely. I also had difficulty understanding the role I needed to play. Additionally, I was working on developing my own friendships. Eventually, I decided to do that on my own and it paid off in its own way. Relying on those meant to serve me professionally made it hard to respect their authority. It was particularly challenging when they made decisions against my favor. It was also difficult when decisions were not sensitive to my needs.

I do agree that taking the step to develop friendships outside of the persons that serve us can be difficult. But at the same time, these individuals are not meant to be in our lives forever. They do not need to reach that level of friendship. A degree of professionalism must always be attained. This ensures that if something is not mutually agreed upon, there is no room for personal conflict.

Grief is one of the hardest experiences. It occurs when professionals we have developed close relationships with are no longer with us. Even though something is out of our control, we feel that it is something that we can’t move ahead from. At times, we feel that we can’t let someone hold themselves to the same standard. This was the standard that the person before achieved.

Granted, it can be hard to move on with things, but it at time has to become a necessity. Doing so can help you create better and stronger boundaries with the new professionals. At the same time, you can work harder to form personal friendships aimed at personal purposes. Professional relationships should always have met the required standard. You eventually learn that you must do what is necessary as an individual to protect yourself, both personally and professionally.