Without doubt I often worry about getting in trouble for doing something that is wrong. I am a rule follower and do not like to cause conflict in others. For the longest time, I have overthought every step I made. I did not allow myself to just be me for once. I understand that there are expectations in life that need to be met. Sometimes I worry about things that others are not even concerned about.

I am a literal thinker, which makes me sensitive. When things are repeated to me several times, I take them to heart. Even if it is not my fault, I still internalize them. I become oversensitive to situations that I feel will cause conflict or potential discipline. I know what is permissible versus what is not. Yet, when it comes to being overly sensitive, it distracts me from being “normal.” I mistakenly think others are worried about me. I feel all they are thinking about is me and what I am doing. This perception is simply not true.

They’re going to be naysayers everywhere you go. Not everyone is going to agree with you, even if you know that you are right. Maybe you are in the wrong. What matters is to not take everything so seriously. Unlike me, you should not let it affect your ebb and flow in daily life. Do not fear just surviving out of fear of something bad happening to you. The reality is that they often do not care. Although there are those that like to cause conflict, do not amplify the issues you are experiencing. Avoid trying to match the energy in the room just to get your point across. Doing so is ineffective and only makes things worse.

I have started to realize something important. If I meet the world’s expectations because I am well educated, I should have nothing to worry about. People are going to be people. I need to take care of myself. I should not be afraid to do what I please. I should not live in fear of what others think I am doing because, in reality, they are not. Understanding that isn’t easy. But I am slowly realizing that who I am is who I am. No one can change that. As long as I am safe and my needs are being met, that is all that matters.

As an autistic adult, I work to develop my own life. I do this slowly and in the way that I know works best for me. People are going to be people. As long as I am doing what I need to be doing, that is appropriate and safe. It is also what is expected. That is all that matters.