Today is the close of my third decade of living. When there has been so much that has happened in my life, it is hard to believe that I have worked so hard to have the productive life that I have to be where I am today. It wasn’t easy and there have been so many times that I wanted to give up. But I know that I can never, ever give up.

The life expectancy of autistic people is significantly shorter than that of the rest of the world’s population. In the years before I was born, many people who were “different” were placed into institutions, but there are also those notable figures such as Temple Grandin for example that have paved the way in those early years by proving that autistic people are human and of value in some way.

I’ll admit it can seem challenging as an autistic adult to balance life as it is. But in the past few weeks I have realized that I have to change the guise of how I live my life because I know that my parents, especially my mother who I relied on most of my life as my top support, has changed roles, making it necessary to learn things independently and be the teacher that she needs to be to make sure I continue to thrive independently after she is no longer able to do so.

Without a doubt, life is not always perfect. Things do happen and it can be more challenging to get through those days, but it is working at building the necessary supports that I need to have in order to be able to get through those challenges that I experience. I will admit that while the last year has been challenging, I am now in a much better position than I was at this time last year and especially the year before. I know what tools are necessary for keeping my mental health in check along with understanding the necessity of incorporating physical wellness into my life too.

There are some things that I want to do to make life better for me and in time I am certain that they will happen. In fact, I have seen them happen in others. But I need to have more grounding and now is certainly not the time to make any sudden changes. I did that when I first moved out and while I got things like a driver’s license for example, I wasn’t in my right mind and essentially I regressed.

I will possibly revisit the topic when I am more grounded, but as for now my ability to transport myself has been met in many ways and as hard as that change was to accept, it was the best thing that could have been done for my independence. It was just what needed to be done, at the right time, by the right people behind the scenes. It is up to me to continue to advocate for things in that realm and break the decades old stigma behind it.

Ultimately while I know I need to continue to grow, I am in a much better position than I have been in an exceptionally long time. I know now I can do what I need to do to start to enjoy my life. I plan on working towards having a more productive life in the years ahead.