Today, I am in a much better position mentally. It has been a long time since I moved out on my own nearly seven years ago that I have been as mentally well as I have been. It has been challenging to say the least, but what I never seen until recently was the value of taking care of my mental health and how really great life is in my life today by doing so. I also see that my experience along with my life story is what people look to me to see that I overcame the struggles that I faced in the way that I did with minimal intervention.

It hasn’t been easy to be grounded to where I am today, but it took me to realize how volatile my life was and how it needed to be more grounded not just for me, but for everyone around me. I was not seeing the necessary things that I needed to do for my mental health since living independently and it was hurting me little by little. In the same vein as I was hurting about my inability to care for my mental health, I was seeing the dangers that resulted from not doing so and  ultimately seeing how others looked to me, that I needed to be the example that I was set to be.

Bestowing the honors that I have bestowed over the years to only struggle mentally shortly after has been hard for me to understand, but ultimately I had to come to terms with what I had to do to combat the flawed thoughts I had about taking care of my mental health and realize that I needed to do work at combatting the things that I didn’t like about me that the side effects caused.

I had wanted to go to my medical team wanting to find easy fixes to the issues I was having, but because of the relationship that I had with my providers, they knew that I have the ability to do what I need to do to work at combatting my battles. For far too long, I wanted to play the ‘woe is me’ card and wanted an easy fix, but ultimately it was by knowing that I needed to put the hard work in which in some ways, my anxiety kept me back, but it was taking that initial step and having those that I look up to as an inspiration that I wanted to inspire just as they looked for me to do that gave me the drive to do what was necessary to take that initial step.

It means putting in the effort at times when it can be challenging and I want to be selfish, which seems commonplace these days when there never seems to be enough time. But it took me setting small goals each week and layering another small goal the following week in order to incorporate a healthier lifestyle and work my way towards where I want to be. It can sometimes seem impossible; however, I know eventually I will be happier and feel better about myself as time goes on. It may seem hard at first, but putting in the effort that I need to while continuing to be the example that I need to be as a leader in what I do will eventually pay off in dividends, I just need to be patient and give myself grace in the process when the days seem more challenging than others.