Being autistic and experiencing mental health challenges can be quite cumbersome. There can be a desire to shift my focus from doing what is necessary to take care of myself. When I have not taken care of my mental health, my brain becomes flawed in a manner that certain things may or may not happen by returning to doing what is necessary. There has been proof that just doing what is necessary can improve things even if I take whatever is necessary to be done seriously. It can also be difficult to be patient while things get back to normal. There can be a desire to go back to not doing what is necessary, but believe me, it is worth toughening it out and doing what is necessary so you can strive to be your best self.

Over the years I have seen a significant difference when I take care of myself versus when I do not. Believe me, I have been bummed out when it comes to doing what I need to do, even if it is disappointing that I must stop the things that I find pleasure in to wind down to take care of myself. As disappointing as it can be, we are not all robots. We need rest and sleep. If we are not our best selves when we need to be, it is only setting us up for failure and the path for mental decomposition begins, getting worse as it goes, making it harder to get back on the right path.

As hard as it can be to get back on track, there have been many instances in the past few weeks where I have seen what could happen if I crossed the wrong path and be in danger, especially when my mental faculties are not at their best. I have been there before and while nothing dangerous has happened, it very well could have. There is only so much that someone can devote into caring for one’s concern and giving them the chance to return to where they need to be before being uncertain that they are not going to be dependable.

I am forever grateful for the opportunities that others have extended to me when I was unwell. In the ‘normal’ world that would not have been the case. I now fully understand that there are expectations for when I and others are navigating the outside world. When they are not met, there are consequences that one must face, and I realize that I should not be given any special treatment when it comes to me acting in an inappropriate manner. There is also a part of me that realizes that others look to me to be the leading example of what it is like to navigate the world with the challenges that they too similarly experience. Therefore, it is important to be cognizant of what is being said and done around the world that I cannot control.

Life is complex, challenging and filled with uncertainty. Therefore, I know that I must do what is necessary to always take care of my mental health. I agree that it can be tough and challenging, but I know that there are so many that want me to be in my best mental state rather than when there is a degree of uncertainty of whether I am my best. Ther reality is that others know when I am not taking care of myself, even when I do not see the signs, therefore it is just rational to do what I know has been proven to work and be my best self.