There have been many times recently that I have been in a “funk.” A “funk” is what my therapist and I describe to be a point when I feel down and out and not my total self. Although I am taking care of myself, these times still arise. They likely arise more due to the fact that there have been some changes in my life that are difficult to undergo and withstand, but they are necessary. The crucial point along with taking care of my mental health is that I work at getting out of those deep and dark moments that I experience.

Without a doubt many people experience challenges, but when you are autistic and have other mental health challenges such as myself, they are experienced in a deeper way to the point that it can seem like it is the worst possible thing to happen to me. When I am that way, it can be extremely difficult to see things through a different lens. Concrete thinking is at its finest, I am unable to see things through another lens or realize that overall, my life is fairly good.

Yes, there have been changes in my life and in reality I do handle them pretty well for what they have been. But when I am in those funky moments all I can think of is the most horrible things to happen and how things that are not true like being all alone and no one caring is a reality. In fact, there are many people who care about me. Sometimes it takes me doing my part to realize that. There has to be effort on my part to connect with others or do something so that the ability to feel down and out is able to be diminished. If I choose to sit around and sulk about how horrible my life is, then that is on me.

I have taken the necessary steps to ensure that I find things to do to take away from the pain that I am experiencing due to the changes in my life. However, it too takes doing the part instead of sitting around doom scrolling and feeling sorry for myself. In reality, sitting around on my phone doom scrolling can result in a great deal of time wasted in return and will make me continue to feel horrible for myself.

Life can have its moments where things can be amazing and as I have it all together but then there are those moments where I feel just so angry about what I have been handed, and the brain makes it difficult to switch gears to do what I need to get out of that negative frame of thinking. In reality, life is good, my needs are met, and I am doing well. However, there are times when my brain will make me think about the things that I am not able to do or the things that I do not have and dwell on the negative rather than the positive.

Eventually, I pull myself together and either do the work or through a series of transitions make my way to doing things that brighten my mood. It is always important to never act on the feelings that are being experienced and if they cannot be worked out on my own to reach out for help or support. It can be hard sometimes to do that, but I know I can.