Back when I was growing up, I was a complex child. Although I had my qualities that came with being autistic, there also came the challenges which became challenging for my parents, but one thing that made my life a success was that my parents never gave up on me. They did whatever it took to keep me safe and feel loved even though there was times that I could not see that.

Even in the near past year as my father has experienced his major life-changing event, I have seen my mother repeatedly be the fierce advocate that she and he was when he was growing up to in turn get what my father needed when at times he was not being taken care of. It has made me recall the times that my parents stuck themselves out against the many serving systems at the time to ensure that my needs were met even if it was not the popular opinion at the time or the way that things were done.

My parents were “that parent” that the systems did not want to hear from. They were the one that when she called, the fear  was driven in them and as such they tried to place barriers to things that I needed which meant at times that my parents had to do some of the leg work on their own to ensure that my needs were met, and while I am sure that also was taxing on them, they did it oftentimes while overlooking other obligations in life to ensure that my needs were met.

Without a doubt this had an effect on my sister who lived with us. Repeatedly her needs were often disregarded for the need to have met my needs, but she was and still is the person that will be there for me equally as possible, even though at times I have disregarded the fact that she has. She has been able to talk more sense into me at times when I wouldn’t even would not listen to my parents, even as they stood their ground more.

There have been times when I blamed my parents for making decisions that I did not appreciate like placing me in placements without understanding that my personal safety was at risk, but what I also did not know at the time that it was equally difficult for both of them that it took an emotional toll on them. However, when I was discharged from residential over two decades ago, it was them that did whatever it took to ensure that I had the same opportunities and needs that I needed to be met to have a successful life.

Without a doubt, it can be hard for parents raising autistic children and teens to remain resilient and strong when their loved one can be extremely challenging and there comes a time when hard decisions have to be made, but it is often done to ensure that their loved one is safe. For my parents, they did whatever it took to do that and even at times it was not pleasurable, they fought through it, and just did it because it needed to be done.