It is always hard for me to determine what my limits can be as far as what I can handle in life. There is a misperception of what my mental health can tolerate versus what it cannot but ultimately it is up to me to build the necessary boundaries to do what is necessary to protect myself and my mental health from curtailment into a severe state by not understanding what my limits are.

There is a lot of talent that I have but there is also a point that I get overwhelmed when things are too much for me. There is also the point that I am not taking care of my mental health and when things are too much for me because I keep taking on without understanding my limitations that I will crash and burn. I have done that too many times and I do not plan on ever getting back into that precarious position ever again.

At the same time, it can be hard to know exactly when to stop sharing my knowledge in overabundance to the point where I become overwhelmed, and it becomes too much for me. There are parts of me that want to be such a caring person but at the same time it can be hard to set a boundary from being overwhelmed and saying no to some things that are easier for someone else to do.

It isn’t easy to tell someone know or stop doing something when it becomes too much, but there is a part of reality that I must be able to take care of myself and do my best when it is necessary to do so. But the reality is that if I do not step away from things that I get hooked into deeply and take the necessary steps to take care of myself as I need to do, then the path begins to where I become worse as time creeps on and it is harder to come back out of the path that I am in,

But ultimately being independent as an autistic adult is that you have to set boundaries and do what is right not just because it is what you have been led to do but it is often what keeps you well and going strong, especially as in my case has been proven for decades on end. Although I have made some deliberate decisions in the past, I have lived with them over time and as a result have had to pay the ultimate sacrifice of having things held back but in the same vein have had to seek new opportunities as a result of things changing down the road of life, as difficult as it can be to walk into new situations, it is important to always stand my ground when I know I cannot handle something because it will be overwhelming for me.

However, it is not to be used as a way to get out of the things that I have been expected to do because I had previously promised and committed to doing them. It is fighting through the anxiety that I have because that is how I traditionally am and as such it is just me experiencing what I experience as a part of life and I need to be kinder to myself, understanding that it is just my anxiety working itself up and that I need to get through something that I believe that I can and if not, reach out to the necessary supports that I need to get through it, because they will reassure me that I can.

Whatever I may embark on my ventures in life it is trying to test the waters while at the same time knowing what is too much and speaking up for that by building boundaries and if it seems too much processing that information as I am able to. It can be hard to do that but in the end it is what is best for me to be able to be the person that I am in the best capacity to be my best self everyday.