For the longest time, my anxiety has held me back from doing things that I need to do to have a better quality of life. Sometimes, I have self-sabotaged myself in that way because I would rather be able to use not caring for myself as an excuse for not wanting to do something that keeps me from doing something new. But as I close on the fourth decade of my life, I am beginning to realize that I must do what is necessary to keep maturing and step outside of my comfort zone.

It can be hard to step outside of my comfort zone but when there are opportunities that arise to make that easier than it is important to bear in mind that I must take advantage of them so I can work towards having the quality of life that I want to have. There has to be a reality that there are some things that hold me back from having the quality of life that I so deserve to have and eventually it will become necessary to move forward and do what feel uncomfortable for me.

I have been real about my mental health in recent months and as a result am doing much better because I am doing what is right for my mental health. I honestly believe that I was sabotaging myself because I was living in fear of stepping outside of my comfort zone to do things that I didn’t want to face, but eventually reality has struck and to have any sort of future that I want there has to be a reality to step out of my comfort zone and fight the anxiety that has been built up in my system for so long.

Oftentimes, my anxiety is just telling me thoughts that are not true. It has been over the past several months that I have discovered that there has been many thoughts that have been scripted or perceived in my brain that are just thoughts, they are not the truth. It is fighting though the truth and doing what I need to do because I know that I can and by affirming myself that I can do it will provide me with the opportunity to do so much more and be the person  that I need to be in life going forward.

I have held back from so many things out of my own fear and have complicated it further because I was unwilling to do what I needed to do to care for my mental health so things could be easier for me. I know that caring for my mental health is a priority every single day and things will never get beyond where they already are unless I do that. I had to learn that the hard way and continue to do so because I look back and see all the times concern was raised or things were out of sorts because I was deliberate in nature and didn’t do what was right even when I knew it would be more beneficial for me to do what is right for me and my mental health.

Going forward, I am hoping to work with others as I work to open new doors and be ready to conquer the next steps in the world, slowly, at my pace, because I know I can do it. I just need a little boost or push along the way because once I get my feet wet, I will be OK.