Over the past few years, I have been learning what works for me to do what I need to do. I am learning that there is not just one way but there are multiple ways to do things and that there is no wrong way to do something, but the way that works for me. It is not for others to judge or criticize, but for me to be satisfied and proud that I got the task completed.

As one who struggles with executive functioning, it can be hard to start to execute those tasks that need to be done or find a way to make them interesting. I have often wanted to put them off because I have become frustrated with the way that they have to be done. I often think that there is a pressure to do those tasks because of the way that they look or can think of what others would imagine if they have saw them being in my space.

While I know that my space is mine and mine alone, I feel much better when there is a sense of accomplishment and things look nice. Now when something looks out of place, I now look for a way to fix it. It may not be perfect or be done in the manner that others expect it to be done, but it gets done and then there is a sense of pride and accomplishment.

For the longest time, I felt down upon myself because there was a sense of shame that I did not meet the same standards that were once expected of me when I was living with my family. It was a challenging time because we did not have the same personalities when it came to cleanliness and the dynamic was challenging at best. I would become frustrated when I was pressured into doing things the “right” way or the way that was expected of me. There was a time when I lived on my own that I didn’t care because I just didn’t want to put in the effort because I didn’t want to see the purpose of it.

But eventually, I began to see the purpose of doing things and began to learn that I did have challenges with executive functioning. There was no shame for the way that I was experiencing difficulties in getting the things done that needed to be done, it was just that my brain thought about it differently and I had to be more creative in finding ways different that worked better for me.

Some of that was through modeling and others I had to tailor to finding ways in the environment that I lived in. It wasn’t easy at first, but eventually it caught on and became easier for me to do and became more of a habit. For things to be easier for me, they have to be done in a way that I find pleasurable. That may require me to step outside of the box from what is expected or the norm for them to be done. That doesn’t mean that they have to be challenged or challenging to others or that others have to understand them. They are what works for me and that is all that matters sometimes, because it is what gets the job done.