If you have been following my blog throughout its entirety, you will see where I have been struggling more than what I have been needing to. For the longest time until about a month ago I could not seem to get the hang of the necessity and benefits of what my medication could provide me. All I could see was the downsides without proving them wrong or allowing myself to see that the particular medication that I had been so long fighting against was really intended to help me.

It was that I had to realize that I had to be more initiative-taking about the necessity of taking the medication that I had to put safeguards in place to ensure that I would never miss a dose again. I had to see that when I didn’t take this particular medication I was hurting and disobeying so many people that had trust In me, and I could not see the benefits of it. I could not see that it could get me through the challenging times that I as an autistic person faces and be able to be flexible when I needed to be.

I could see that in the times when I was not taking it and how I was treating those that I loved but taking it for a week ahead and seeing the same scenario play out and being a totally complete opposite for the better I could see that it was more beneficial for me to take it. I also spent that week in between pondering on all the issues over the past six years and why they were all a struggle and it all boiled down to me not taking this particular medication that has been proven to work for decades.

Also in that week, I debunked all the myths that the side effects were leading to believe. Sometimes you have to hear things in plain language so that is what I have to do. See other peer reviews and understand words that made more sense to me and see that it wasn’t really all that bad. It was also understanding that I needed to take it so that in a world such as the one that I was living in I could see that I needed it to manage the many obstacles that I had in my life. The past year has taught me that life can change in an instant and that medication can help me see that there is a need to do what is needed to best prepare myself for whatever came in my path.

It as also doing more work on my mental health beyond my medication knowing that I had to focus my energy in a better way than I had been because of all the changes that I had in the past year. I know firsthand that radical acceptance works for me and that I needed to let go of what was so I could move on with my life and see more of what I needed to see going forward instead of holding on to hatred that only caused problems in myself. I knew that the longer that I held on to it, the more it would hurt me. I have done that in my own way and as of this writing, I feel so much better about life, knowing that there is so much more potential for me than I once allowed myself to believe. I know I can do things if I put my mind to it and that is what I plan on doing because I am more at peace.