As my line of work has me doing satisfaction surveys, one of the questions asks how hopeful have you are about your future. Until a few weeks ago, I skirted the thought of having hope for a future beyond the scope that I have had for  some time. I had continually felt trapped in something that I didn’t see a way out of or even the potential that there is hope for more good things to happen for a better future.

 I have spoken a lot in the past week about discovering that my anxiety had held me back from doing things that are uncomfortable or unfamiliar to me because I was unable to recognize beyond what has made me comfortable and anything beyond that just seemed impossible. Even imagining that there is potential for more in my life was scary because I was doubtful that it I could do things that are uncomfortable for me.

There have been many things that I have accomplished over the years that I never thought was possible. There was a time when I thought I would be institutionalized for life. I never thought I would graduate high school, then I went to vocational school, then community college, then working a job, getting an apartment, and a driver’s license and many other achievements that have utilized my skills and talent.

But for one reason or another, it has been easier to allow myself to sulk in what makes me comfortable because I never realized that my anxiety held me back from doing things beyond the current scope that I am in. Even in things that I have excelled greatly in as a result of being autistic is no small scale, but I do it quite often and I now know that my anxiety has held me back from doing things that are out of my comfort zone because I was unwilling to believe that I could do some things when in fact I know that I can do things if I open myself up to doing them.

Just knowing that I can do things that I have been taught and seeing the potential that can happen if I work through the fear and give trust to the process for what makes it happen is just so relieving and brightens my mood ever so greatly. Knowing that there is potential to my life beyond where I am in the present moment make me so elated.

One thing I know is that my progress is not a race, and it will take time to get some of my future endeavors may not always be perfect, but being stuck believing that there is nothing to do to improve my life will not give me the hope that I need. Finally doing what I need to do including working through my anxiety and being open to new things that may make me uncomfortable in the process is key to ensuring that there is potential for me to believe that there is more hope in my future and better days are yet to come.