It has been a remarkable journey over the past six years battling the fact that I need to learn to live with my challenges and not against them. While that in of itself brings some harsh realities that are hard to digest, it is understanding that my life is so much better when I learn to live with my challenges instead of working against them.

While there can be some sort of pleasure or happiness when I am not taking care of my mental health in the way that I need to for any period, in the end, I am hurting myself and digging a deeper hole to get out of it that can be quite frustrating. A few of the last times that I had to do this; I realized the length of time that it took to get back on track but the last time I realized  the time that it took to get back on track and as in the past as it is to stick on what I needed to do, the last time I did what was right and believe it or not, it became easier as time progressed. I was kind to myself and gave myself the grace that I needed to get back on track.

Yes, things are going to happen that are going to be frustrating for me. There are things that I am not going to like about being challenged with some things and the way that things are going to be. But I must be willing to accept them as they are and learn to live with them. They are what they are, and I know now I must live with them and not against them. When I was not caring for my mental health totally, it was easy to want to go back to the ways that were unhealthy for me, but I also did not understand the necessity of some things that needed to be taken care of to be my best. Eventually after realizing that I needed to have some tools to do that, it got easier to do that and realize how important it is to have what I need to stay on track to live with my challenges and not against them.

It can be easy to ignore what needs to be done to stay well or fall into traps that do not ensure that the proper safeguards are followed. But what is also important is not ignoring those safeguards by disregarding them out of sheer ignorance because you want to live a life of being against what is best for you when you believe that things are hurting you when in fact, they are intended to help you.

For me it took to see the signs that things were hurting me and not helping me. I would try to get back on the right track but would get disgusted by the process it took so that I would give up because I preferred the way that was not helpful to my mental health. It took seeing examples of how others were when they were not their best along with finally concluding that all medications are necessary for me. While that can be an individual decision,  for me it is necessary. I then must do my best to work at combatting the side effects that come with them, including the weight gain that has been happening all these years.

In the end, it is my choice to make the right decisions for myself and I am choosing to now because I know it is best to work with my challenges and not against them. While the journey to get to where I am today may have been lengthy and hard to understand, I finally understand the necessity of taking care of my mental health in the way that is necessary for me so I can be my best self-every day.