I have been told that autism is a “cross to bear.” Sometime later, I have reflected on that remark and while it may not be just being autistic itself, it is the many other comorbidities that come with autism that can be hard to manage. It can be the fact of those comorbidities and working on living independently, grounding down what life is for a person such as myself. It indeed is something to bear, but I am always resilient and optimistic, even though there have been many times previously when I was not.

It can be hard to live life when you want things a certain way out of a need to have challenges comforted, but there are also times when you learn to adapt to things as they are. That doesn’t mean that they aren’t easy or comfortable to do, but you do them in order to have other things met that can be more soothing to you. It is a unique paradigm in the midst of living your life, but eventually you find what is helpful versus what is not.

It can be hard when everything runs together, but I am strong and somehow manage the challenges that are in my way quite well. It hasn’t always been easy, but I have been given multiple tools and am still learning ways to cope with a world that not always kind to my challenges. Sometimes it is through sheer advocating and educating that things are made easier for me, but I am fortunate to have the life that I have and am continuously grateful for the opportunities that are provided to me.

Yes, there are times when things aren’t always perfect or go according to plan. I want to be angry, but sometimes I am angry over the smallest things that in all honesty don’t make sense or are even valid at the current moment. Some of the thoughts I have replay in my brain of moments that were challenging for me. I take my moments to care for myself, but then I remember the good times in that environment or with the others that were in the situation with me to make me feel better and fight the adverse feelings that I am feeling.

Now that things have finally settled down and are better for me, I recognize when things are more challenging for me than normal and I refer to my Wellness Toolbox of my Wellness Recovery Action Plan or WRAP so I can find or try something that can be helpful to me. When it is helpful to me, I use a log that I got off the Internet to record that coping  skill was helpful to me so I can reference it in the future.

I know that is what I have to do as during my last relapse nearly seven months ago, I had to make a commitment to making sure that I work on not only relapsing but also working at coping with the many other challenges that I face in life’s situations and my headspace. It is accepting all of my challenges for what they are and taking the need to care for myself. Being Autistic may be a cross to bear, but knowing I have it under control makes life easier.