To imagine where I am today takes responsibility and remembering where I was at my lowest. I wasn’t always the kindest, best known for my ability to get through the day-to-day that life brings us. Granted, the COVID-19 pandemic among other things changed my resilience for the better and made me a stronger person. However, it was those days when I was growing up that made life seem impossible because of the disruptions that I was causing because of the behavior that I was exhibiting in the past.

To say that I was exhibiting behaviors was an understatement. They were the behaviors that you would not talk about in casual conversation. They were disruptive and quite inappropriate and it is any wonder that I never ended up in the justice system. It is the saving grace of my parents to the best of my knowledge that has saved me from some of the most precarious situations that I couldn’t even think properly for myself.

It was those numerous admissions to the psychiatric hospital and the final one where my parents had to put their feet down and find something that worked on those curtailing those behaviors. It was also getting to the root of the problem and finding treatments that were successful in living a productive life.

It was my parents fighting systems, ensuring that my needs were met as closely as possible to home so I could one day be reunited with my family. Even though there was a long time when I was mad at my parents for what they did. As I look back at all that I have been through, I am glad in a way that it all happened the way that it did so I could get the treatment that I needed to be as successful as I am today.

But looking back, it was a very challenging time when those behaviors were exhibited and even after the residential treatment, it was still a work in progress. It would be a long time before physical aggression would stop, even if it was towards those that loved me dearly. There would be an occasional instance where this would occur, and I am ever so grateful that it did not end up in me going back to the psychiatric hospital or being in the legal system.

It can be hard to believe that through all that I once experienced that I am able to do the things that I do now like living on my own or holding down a job for over a decade and a half,  but it has been done even when I haven’t been my best self. Eventually I learned the hard way that all the work that I had been put through over two and a half decades ago was why I am where I am today. It has been a process working through all those behaviors, even though I knew they were wrong, but one thing I never did was use being autistic as an excuse for what they were. My parents ensured that was never an excuse nor was bad behavior ever rewarded if I knew what the consequence was warranted. Through it all, I am grateful that through all those behaviors that  I was never hurt, in the legal system or worse.