I started off 2025 with Cable TV . After over four years without it, now being in a much better position mentally, I am grateful that I have more than what I had when I was living on my own the first time. I now realize that Cable TV can be used as a healthy coping skill when used in moderation as a coping skill and so far, has been helpful in doing so.

I have had Cable TV a few times. When I was living in trade school, I had it even when they said it was impossible to have it because my roommate had Internet, but they did it. I remember the supervisor calling my mom on the weekend to make the arrangements to make it happen. Nonetheless, I have always had the basic package as I do not need a lot  to keep me entertained. That did change when I first lived on my own, but now I realize that I was never well enough for one to watch it and I did not even think about it when I was adding other channels. But nonetheless what is done has been done.

In the process of getting Cable TV this time, I had felt guilty about doing it for one reason or another because I felt that it was a trigger for being lazy, rather than that it is what keeps me balanced and on sort of a schedule because I know that I have to take medication to help me sleep and it is often that the TV can make me tired later in the day, especially after exerting a lot of energy. It has been helpful to me in that regard. One thing is that I do not have any electronics in my bedroom, that room is only for sleeping and since doing that, it has improved my mental health greatly because I am not distracted by things I have no business doing.

Another thing is that I have freed myself from old habits that I had when I was not taking care of my mental health by not fully adhering to my mental health regimen. I realized that having too much free time allowed me to get into things that I had no business doing and as a result I have forgiven myself for the way that I acted then. Being of sound mind and mentally well, I detoxed myself from those behaviors that were unhealthy and by replacing it with Cable TV, it has helped me in filling the void that I had previously filled with unhealthy behavior.

As I had to work myself up to the permission to do what I needed to do to get Cable TV this year, I know in the end it was a good thing that is helpful to my mental health and combatting total isolation or making me a complete computer junkie. I am hoping that it makes me a better person than what I was in years past because I no longer want to live in the way that I once did, no one deserves that nor do I.

I am hopeful that things will eventually get better as time goes on and more opportunities will arise as time evolves. I am worthy of things that I do not even know if I give myself the chance to open more as time goes on.