There is no doubt that I at times say exactly what I want to say while being insensitive to what others are feeling. I have often done it. But at times I often only think about my personal needs getting met without totally understanding that while everything is going to be OK, in the moment when things are elevated, I just say what is on my mind without being considerate of what other people are feeling, and this can cause them to react negatively towards me when things are too much.

There is an understanding that autistic people are some of the most honest people that we know. But sometimes we are too honest, or we do not think that what is going to pass on our lips is going to hurt the feelings of those we are speaking to. The fact is while we are feeling our own set of feelings, we have difficulty in reading what others are feeling and we are adding fuel to their feelings when we are insensitive to them, thus causing a great disconnect between both parties.

Contrary to the common myth that autistic people do not have empathy, we have empathy towards those we care about and love. We just show it in other ways than what society expects us to show it. When things become too much for us and we see parts of our life that we know as disappearing, we get defensive and want to react or try to solve the issues in the way that we find is more comfortable for us, even if it is not the wishes of others. We only think about what brings us the comfort that we as autistic folk are used to because we cannot see at a spontaneous moment being able to see things differently than we are used to at the moments when tense situations, especially when changes to our routines arise.

So to say that we say is on our mind without being considerate of others’ needs is for sure something that is going to happen even if we don’t see that there are other options are available to us that may change our lives, we can only see what we have been used to doing for so long, that even changing things that may be different, but we know that we can do is something that we cannot see at the very moment we are being told or are thinking about something that is going to change our lives.

We as autistic folk know that it hurts others when we say things that we do not mean to say, but it is often too late after those words are said that it hurts. We may not totally understand how deeply it hurts the person, or to give them the space that they need to regroup before coming back to us. It is that we must be better with our word choice when it comes to saying things that may be insensitive to others, especially when they are in compromising situations that they cannot control themselves. It is important that you consider everyone is needing as hard as you want to focus on your own, sometimes the needs of others are more important than those of your own. It may be more important to step outside of your comfort zone to do things that are necessary for your own life to be sensitive to others’ needs.