Today is New Year’s Eve. While many people are following traditions like I do where in Pennsylvania of the United States we have Pork, Hot Dogs and Sauerkraut in order ring in the new year. Another part of the new year is making resolutions. While this year is not totally about making new habits because they never stick, it is about keeping what I have started doing in 2024 to get back on track and keeping the spirit going in the new year.

As in years past there has been the intention of starting the new year off fresh and making better decisions as far as it is concerned with breaking the old unhealthy habits as it relates to my mental health, but this year, I have been more determined than ever to keep doing what I need to do ridding myself of the old habits because I am just tired of living my life in a lie that at times I have to be questioned If I am taking care of myself.

I have finally to my honest belief that I have done what I need to do to take care of myself and my mental health finally. It is mostly getting back to basic because truthfully, if I had started that in the first place, we would have never gotten to the point where I would  have relapsed as many times as I have or have had the issues that I had. Disbelieving what has been proven to work for many decades was a great disservice to me and those around me who I did not know I scared from time to time. That is someone that I do not ever want to be and just thinking of those words scares me alone.

It is setting goals for myself each day. Part of that is sometimes just working at staying up throughout the day and making it from the time I wake up until I go to sleep. That in of itself is something that within time has taken a lot to accomplish. Though at times it can be hard, I know the value of doing what I need to do to take care of myself. I have had countless hours of therapy and services over the past two and a half decades to know how to conduct myself in the manner that I need to.

Granted, things happen in life, but having what I need to take care of myself helps prevent me from reacting worse than what I need to. Honestly in 2024, it has taken some divine intervention to understand that and know that I need to have certain things to have the quality of life that I deserve once and for all and stop living my life in a falsehood once and for all as I have done in the past.

For me, the past six years, while quite the learning experience, have had a host of issues that mostly could have been prevented. Granted, there were some issues that happened that were out of my control, but they introduced people and things that were more helpful to me to move on from the toxicity that I was experiencing and have the life that I am destined to have finally.

I deserve only the best life for me, and I am ready to move forward in that direction.