Holidays are challenging times for autistic people. There are so many things that are different and changing from the everyday norm that can be very overwhelming. Just the beliefs and traditions alone can be enough to overwhelm someone with challenges. The holidays had been a challenge for me for many years until I moved out on my own, but before that it was like walking on eggshells because of many things.

We are led to believe that we must do everything that is expected of us. Attend parties, concerts and so forth. A lot of that has plenty of unknowns and expectancies that can set autistic people off into overload. It can be too much for them to handle even if there is a separate space for them to chill out, it may get to the point where that is no longer helping. In my life, there was always the expectation that I had to go to everything and while I often masked how I was really doing even before it was known to be a thing as part of being autistic, I would decompress and have a difficult time at home with my family. As many are overstimulated over the holidays, I was no exception and as such, our family often lived off little to no sleep. It got better in later years. But there were times when there were arguments and meltdowns of which I was not proud. I have moved on from those days.

And as I moved out of my parents’ home and into my home some time ago, things got better for me because I did not feel as heavy as a burden to fall into the mold that I had long been expected to fall into. Even though my mental health has not been the best the past six years, I have worked on it the second half of this year and am in a much better place than I have been in for some time and plan to be in that way going forward in my life.

Regardless, getting through the social events can be a challenge. The past week has been many of them in a row where there are social expectations that need to be met and that I had to do things that are outside the norm. Fortunately, I excelled much better than I have in several years. It has taken a lot to get to that point in my life and I am proud of myself for being able to do those many events in one week. It is of course taking time to prioritize time for self-care that includes saying  no to some things that are too much for me. That in of itself is perfectly acceptable and can be done much better than it has in the past.

I am planning to have a much better holiday break and take things in stride by being grateful for the things that I have in my life instead of complaining about the things that I have complained about this year. There have been so many changes this year and finally being settled down enough to manage life as it is just so relieving and can make life go so smoothly not only for me, but for everyone else involved with me. I deserve it and those around me deserve it  too.