Until a few months ago, in the past six years, I have never taken my mental health seriously. I had this belief that some of my mental health conditions were not true, even though I had two relapses. It was not until I understood that people can indeed see when you are not your best if they know you enough and that there is some sort of credibility depending on how well you carry yourself as a person with a mental health condition.

There is so much stigma behind those that have conditions, including mental health challenges, autism and many others. In recent months, I have learned that part of the perceived stigma is the way that people conduct themselves in the outside world. If they do not present themselves as if they can keep themselves together as part of their condition nor are they honest if they are or need help, then it will show and there is nothing anyone can do but watch them crash and burn.

I guess for me it is looking at the fact that I never had any issues with my mental health until I did not take caring of it as seriously as I needed to. The primary role in this is medication management, and although it was constantly stressed upon in my nearly two decades of taking psychotropic medications, I had this belief that it was nonsense and that no one knew what they were talking about.

Of course, with medication comes the side effects and with adjusting to a new way of living, it was challenging for me at first, but for nearly six years, I had never truly accepted it as a part of my personal life and not solely as something of my parent’s choice. Although I had always related the need for my medication to my parents’ because of having their needs met, I was unable to realize that it helps more than I ever knew.

Even though I had many instances of instability over the course of the past six years, it was not until I realized that these instances only happened because I was not caring for myself and that I needed to stop playing games with myself believing something that was not valid and very hurtful to me and that caring for my mental health has to be very serious, and that includes medication management. It was a few decades ago that medication was added to my anxiety, and I know for a fact that I need to have it to have a desirable quality of life. I eventually realized that I was given a perfect cocktail of medication over two and a half decades ago and even if I do not remember, I had to go through a lot to get to the point where it was stabilized, and I could have the quality of life that I now have.

I finally realized that by not caring for my mental health, I was only hurting myself in the process along with causing a great deal of uncertainty among many, thus lessening my stability and trust in the outside world. I live in a world where I have finally these past behaviors behind me and I now understand the importance of caring for my mental health.