On this date last year, I was hit with what I call the “double whammy.” I had two bad severe changes in two days, without the ability to even process the first, the second creeped up on me like not being able to stop. It took some time for me to grasp the reality of what had happened, but I knew eventually that I had to move forward with the upcoming changes and be the best person.

A few days prior, I had been notified of the change from the day-services van system to the county shared ride system, something that I had difficulty in accepting and receiving. Then that evening as I exited the van one of my supports came to me on the sidewalk and told me that one of my colleagues and beloved family advocates had passed away suddenly.

It was like this double whammy that I did not come to expect. It was hard to accept. I could not accept. It was unexpected too many. I had just seen this person the day before after not seeing them for many months due to our conflicting schedules and my relapse, but the one thing that they had asked me at that meeting was how I was accepting my new office situation, as my employer had just moved into their new office a few months prior.

While I had got the words out that I was doing well, it was not enough to have the total conversation that I wanted to have. Our meeting that day had a plethora of business and activities that did not offer me the time with this person that I wanted to have. I wish that I could have had more time to converse with this person. Even though I didn’t want to believe it, they thought a lot of me, and I think I knew that because they took the time to attend some of the things that were not expected of them but because I was there, they made the effort to attend with their autistic children, which I know was no small feat in of itself.

They have been one of the forerunners in encouraging me to draft a book about this journey that I have been on. This past year, among all the changes, slip-ups and so forth, I am beginning to see that the time is coming to get started on that book before time passes me by. Sometimes we do not realize things until it is too late, I am starting to realize that as a human being that time passes ever so quickly. 2024 has moved so fast and has been so robust of activity that we are now in this holiday season from when a few weeks ago warmer weather was abound and even months ago things were so much more solidly in place, but things are always changing, and as hard as it can be for me as an autistic person to accept, it is the reality of the situation.

As it has been a year since that double whammy hit, it reminds me how lucky I am to have the opportunities that I have had and continue to have in my life. As that advocate has transitioned in life, a new one has taken her position in the system and I am working at  my best to continue to show them the ropes as I had did with the one I had lost one year ago as everything changes, but I must realize that I must take the time to work on the things that I know I must work on, including that book in 2025.