For autistic people, including myself, it can be hard to ask for assistance when we need others to do things or help with something. It can feel as if we are being a burden or getting in trouble when we must ask others for help to do something for us. Sometimes we may think we have got this, when in fact we need a little more help or reassurance in things.

While it is always important to know who you can ask for help, you must learn to work to find confidence in asking those you must ask for help or to do things for you when you need it. For me, there is always this sense that when I need something done or someone to show or help me with something, I am going to get a snarky remark back or be denied a request. It is not like I know the logical sense of the parameters of what can and cannot be done, it just takes me to get out of the comfort zone of asking someone to help me or do something for me, when in fact they would be more than willing to do it for me.

Oftentimes, I do not like to ruffle feathers, change things up, or stretch my limits beyond what I feel comfortable doing because I may not know the parameters of how someone operates. Just last week, I felt comfortable enough to ask my supervisor at work to mail some personal mail for me when they were going to the mailbox as if it was a big burden. Once I asked them and they complied with my request, I felt a sense of bonding relief that made us feel closer because I was able to ask them for something personal.

I often feel uncomfortable asking others for help or to do something for me because it is as if I am helpless and that because of my challenges, whatever they may be, are what makes things harder for me. It makes me feel as if I am less than because I must ask for things to help me in the process of doing things. I remember some time ago the embarrassment I felt when I had to ask the clerk at Rite Aid for a bag for my soda because I was walking. Although that caused an unwanted deep dive about wanting to drive in therapy, it is just as simple as asking for a bag and I blew it out of proportion like I was asking the clerk to physically take what I had to my house.

Although many things have changed since asking for that bag at Rite Aid as I get around, the fact of the matter is that I still struggle from time to time with asking for help or things from people that I intend to trust. It is not like they are just random strangers. It is like it is just the wrong thing to do, even though I have been reassured repeatedly by many people that they are there to help me. Yet, there I am this sense of shyness that comes when it comes to asking for help. It will diminish within time, but it also takes a part of me to speak up when it is necessary to have my needs met or things I need done. I know I am strong. Others know I am strong. I just need to prove to myself that I am strong.