Until recently, I have struggled to be content with the life that I have. Even as much as I must be grateful for as an autistic adult, it had been hard for a very long time to see that things were as good as they were and even as they got better, I was reluctant to put the past behind me and see that life is indeed very much worth living.

For the longest time because I have been led to believe things that I had no business knowing about that led me to believe things about others that were not totally true and that things were supposed to be reversed from the way that they actually were, it took a toll on me mentally and physically and would not allow me to think about anything other than the issues that weren’t even mine to worry about, but because I was led to believe that there were people who were awful when they really weren’t, it tore at my quality of life because all I could think about was getting out of things that partly I wanted to participate in, yet there were pieces of that were very burdensome to me.

2024 has released a lot of burdens along with understanding that I need to take care of my mental health. I am grateful that I have day services to help me in that effort and allow me to see that I have potential. It is hard to believe that because of a skewed mind and not allowing people to give themselves a chance that I was going to abandon those services last summer. But even as those that I value have seen that I need support even when I did not believe so, it is what saved my life and got me back on track.

Through that, I was able to have a different view of how things are presently. They are indeed better than they were in the past due to several factors, but I had to see the reality of the situation and accept it for what it is like. It is not as direct and perfect as it was in the past, but there are many parts of it that have improved my mental health and that overall is what matters in the day-to-day operations.

When plans were introduced a year ago, I wanted to quit everything and sit in my apartment every day, but I know that is not healthy. I eventually determined that I needed to add more days to day service so that I could get out of the house more and not remain at home isolating. There is something about the fact that day service has become better in addition to the many other things that have improved in 2024. When there were many changes that were announced, I was the first to be reluctant to make the change, but I embraced them quite well and have flourished greatly because of the changes being made that have made me more content with my life.

Life is what you make it. That has been something that has been told to me from a young age, but for the longest time I was unwilling to see that if I followed that adage, things would be indeed what I made them out to be and through that, I have been more content with life.