As an autistic person, it can be hard to forge a friendship. Today’s standard of what a friendship is multi-tiered and has various levels of connection. Regardless, they provide their own sense of wellbeing and can be beneficial if there is proper agility in knowing how to navigate the paradigm that is set up to manage your friendship circles.

As autism is a spectrum, so is one’s desire in wanting to have a connection with a friend. It can be to the point that one may not want to connect with a friend at all to a point that one would want to connect with a friend that is autistic or have similar challenges or just be connected with a neurotypical person that can be there for them to see the outside world, regardless to the autistic person, the outside world can seem like a scary place to them and navigating friendships can be complicated and misunderstood if they do not take the proper steps to educate themselves in how to navigate the unwritten social cliché.

While there are places that the autistic person visits routinely such as work and day services that can be a good channel to connect with others, there must be the understanding that those places should be used for their intended purposes and that if a connection is wanted on any form, it should be done “off the clock” unless it is part of the programming of day or employment services. It can be difficult if the friendship goes awry for the autistic person, and it brings a whole different set of challenges that may not be comfortable for them. Therefore, it is crucial to develop boundaries and understandings early in the game of how to connect with others.

It is always important to be mindful of what the friend’s intentions of connecting with the autistic person as it can be difficult for the autistic person to read the underlying tone or not be able to see if there is a vulnerability factor with people with autism or other disabilities to where they want to take advantage of them. It is important to vetted, or ‘do your homework’ before connecting with someone.

Thankfully, there are many autism support organizations that have been well versed in the subject on education of these kinds of topics with the development of social stories and other curricula to properly educate autistic individuals in navigating the friendship landscape. It can be complex and scary. Years ago, when the thought of connecting with others was tossed around, I was totally put off by it and in fact I had moments of struggle over the years, but it has gotten better within time. It is Important to be patient in the process and let things work out for themselves.

Making friends may not seem easy at first, but it eventually will come to fruition and be a part of daily life if you let it be. There will be bumps along the way of forging friendships and making those connections in the world, but in the end, it will be worth it.