As many of my followers know, my father suffered from a severe stroke last spring. For the longest time I have said very hurtful things to both of my parents, but many times in my life when living with them, I was exceptionally rough on my father without understanding his upbringing or the factors that his life involves. In the last few weeks, I have discovered that through my parents present challenges, there is absolutely no reason for me to be harsh to them and that it is always important to leave the conversation in a good spot.

This year has had its share of struggles. Nothing tops them all than having to learn how to understand and manage my father’s injury. There have been several times that he has brushed up against death, but God never had that plan in the cards for him yet. Yes, there were times when I was angry about the situation. However, I know that it is important to support my mother as this has been more challenging for her than anyone else involved in this situation.

As the situation has evolved regarding my father’s injury, it has been hard at times to digest the reality of the situation. It has and will in many ways force me to be the stronger person in the situation, even more than my mother is herself, and I do not know a more resilient person than her. It is the hand that we have dealt with and even though I could throw my own pity party as has been the practice until the beginning of this month, I have realized that it only further complicates the situation more than it needs to be.

There is always the uncertainty that a conversation with my parent can be the last and therefore I have discovered that it is always important to leave the conversation in a good spot, no matter what. It can be challenging sometimes when it comes to dealing with the situation that has been handed to my father when I have to conform to ways that may seem unconventional or that I may have to be slightly uncomfortable with doing things that are difficult for me because my mother is not able to support me like she did in the past.

There is a reality that my parents are aging, and things can change in an instant. We are never promised tomorrow or to be able to do the same opportunities again. There are going to be realities that are someday going to have to be faced that I am going to have to do things that bring more responsibility to sustain my independence and make sure I can thrive on my own. It can seem scary, but that is the reality as my parents and other parents of other autistic adults age and can no longer care for their autistic loved ones as they did in the past.

It has made me honestly grateful for the advances I have made in my life while understanding the importance of having family while I still have them in my life, that it is always important to be kind to our loved ones, even when the moment doesn’t want us to think about it that way, but there will be regrets if we say the wrong thing. Therefore, it  is always important to leave the conversation in a good spot.