Many times, I want to always point out the things that are wrong in my life. Indeed, being autistic, they are easy to spot. However, there are so many good things in my life that make life worth living. There is a necessity to choose to be happy rather than be negative about the things that we cannot control that are negative in my life.

One of my biggest setbacks is when things do not happen that I anticipate or when there is an overload of changes that are swift and hard for me to digest. Even if it is not my fault or even the fault of others, I want to point those behind the change as the fact that they are targeting me, even if it is beyond their own control.

I can be the one that can always tell others with similar challenges in my path that not everything happens according to plan, yet when it happens to me, I want to be so angry to the point that I cannot handle my own emotions and want to take out my feelings on those that I love the most. They certainly don’t deserve it.

Doing this sets me back into a state in regret and then I get angry with myself because I was not the person that I know  that I need to be, even if it can be something simple, I can have the tendency to blow the issue out of proportion because I lack the inability to cope with it in a healthy way due to the fact that I am instantly angry that my needs are met.

I can choose to move on from the instances which brew anger and choose to see the shining light in the situation and make the best of it. It is harder sometimes than others. I want to blame the ones behind why changes to my routine were made, but often times it was out of their control and even though I know that I ruminate on the fact that things in my daily routine were abruptly changed, and it can be the thing that can ruin my day or even into the next day.

But honestly, what can be changed about a situation that has already happened and  is out of my control? Nothing. The reality is that I need to feel better about myself and choose to see the positive things in my life instead of constantly going back to the thing that bothers me. However, there are instances when my brain will not allow me to because it is hurt and even though there are positive things on the horizon and I know that I need to be my best, in the interim, it can be hard to let go of what was because it feels that things are ruined, even if there is no more validity that things can be changed.

I can choose to make the upcoming days the best that I can by being positive and doing what is right by being there for those that need me and want me to be a part of their day. Holding on to the thoughts that are hurtful are no benefit to me and will continue to hurt me unless I work at letting go of all the hatred that I am feeling due to something that I know that I cannot change. I must be willing to move on and make the best of the day I have left.