It can be hard to believe that as delicately as I am able to write that those that I see or talk to in the real world do not see me as the intelligent person that I am. When other people rush to make judgements about who I am, they often talk down to me as someone who has the mental capacity to be a child and not as an adult as I am.

Those who have known me for some times have seen my intelligence and treat me as their friend and peer, however there are many who see me as if I do not have the ability to carry on a conversation just as you would with anyone on the street. It makes me feel like I am less of a person than what I am even though I continue to fight through it and be the person that I know that I can be, it still pulls my heart strings when someone treats me as if I am someone who lacks the inability to understand something just because of my gait of being autistic.

I have often been told not to “judge a book by its cover” and for a long time it has been a struggle not to do so. I have been more and receptive to others and their needs and I would want nothing less than to have the same token of respect given to me in return for how I can respectfully conduct myself. I know that to be respected you must give it and even if I can be seen as quirky from the outside that does not mean that I can offer the same kindness that someone would expect of anyone else they meet.

This factor is what makes my effort to make a better connection with others so challenging. I try to do what I have been taught for many years and even though I am well versed in social norms and expectations, not everyone “gets” that I can be able to communicate as well as I do verbally just as much as I do in written form, even though I do have to agree that I do better when not put under the pressures of having to be able to communicate with someone at first, especially when they talk to me not as an adult, but as someone that doesn’t seem to be able to understand adult culture.

I am extremely grateful for the connections that I have made over the years both online and in real life. Throughout my worst struggles of the past years, those that are genuine and understand my struggles have stuck with me through them, and for that I am grateful, and it has taught me who true friends are. However, as isolated as autistic people seem to be, there is also a desire for them to be able to connect with others, so they do not feel so alone in this world, regardless of neurotype, we just want to be treated like anyone else and not seen as less than who we are.

There is nothing more that I want in life than to be understood and accepted for who I am. You may not have to agree as I do not have to agree with you, but just see me as a person regardless of what you see, you may be surprised at how valuable I can be to you.