It can be hard to believe that I really have not had the desire in many years to get into habits that are relaxing for me. They are there and if I want to go for them, I can. There just has not been the desire or time to get into a frame of mind where I can think about just relaxing and taking my mind off all my worries.

While my mental state is now more at peace these days, it can be hard to realize that first, I need to relax and second of all I need to find things to do that are not so much a chore, but more of something I find pleasure in. Yes, I do things like create content that is released every day, but what about that stuff that I do not have to think about, where I can just take in the energy surrounding it? Where can I find it?

I have started to go to YouTube as I do not have Cable TV, and I find streaming services confusing and robust of things that do not interest me. Sometimes I educate myself, or I watch some destination outdoor videos to relax and see what nature looks like since the opportunity of me leaving my community for the outdoors is rare currently, I do find it interesting to find places, even local that inspire me.

There are things that are interesting like state parks that I do have an interest in and I do look at pictures and watch YouTube videos of content creators’ visits throughout the state whether they are hiking or camping, it is quite interesting even though I cannot participate because of not having the opportunity to do so. We as a family camped in the state park for several years decades ago and it was enjoyable, but also a lot of work and not that my parents have gotten older, that is unlikely possible.

Then there are the numerous books with their intricate maps on the inside, I do like maps and that is why maps and state parks often go hand in hand with my interests. There are some content creators that have a similar interest, and I have many memories of visiting those sites over the past two decades and collecting brochures and maps. But being able to see it on my TV and see the interest that others have in something or the ability to see things differently than what I have not seen or not seen in some time makes me feel good.

It is taking my time and learning to be patient with getting back into those old hobbies while discovering some new ones to add to my repetition, so I do not end up bored or in a state of mental mismanagement to where the moments arise where I fall asleep and do not take my medication as prescribed. I have been adhering to my medication regimen for over two months and want to continue the journey to bettering my mental wellbeing for the betterment of all.

It is finding what works for me that I find interesting. I do enjoy some of the old things, but it is continuing engagement throughout the time I have to myself that is crucial to wellness.