Lately as I have begun to see the benefits of taking care of my mental health, one of those things is the understanding that when I go to some environments, it is going to be overwhelming and as such it is necessary to do things to properly recharge to care for myself. Additionally, it is particularly difficult to adjust from transitioning out of a resting mode into engagement when it is time to do so. While frustrating, it is a part of being autistic and something that I am getting used to every day.

Only until I had begun to live in my current home did I fully understand the need to nap on the days when things are more challenging in the outside world for me. For the longest time, I had felt as if taking a nap was being lazy and I was not realizing that naps are healthier for me to recharge from days where there is a lot of energy and overwhelming effects.

At first, I was frustrated partly because I was not completely adhering to my medication regimen and did not feel the need to sleep and when I did, I considered it a nap because it was not out of the time that humans are expected to sleep. When I woke up, I would be frustrated at myself at how much time had passed just laying in bed. That would not want me to adhere to my bedtime medication, which in turn never had the revolving cycle that I was in with not actually seeing a difference in my medication be taken seriously.

When I had started to recover from my last relapse, things gradually got better and the need to nap has gotten less and less. However, on those more challenging days, a nap is still necessary, and the length of the nap is also less in duration. I have also accepted it for what it is and not let the time of day get to me as much as I have adjusted the time, I take my bedtime medication more manageable for me to withstand.

I have had to accept on my own terms that my body just can’t handle when it is overwhelmed with so much energy from the day’s events along with the length of time spent and the time adjustment that is needed from time to time, along with having to manage myself in an environment that is not always suitable for me. It is not like it is something I cannot manage, but when I come home, I am near my breaking point and the best course of action is to just relax. I have found this common in many people who have challenges in regulating their emotions in a high energy environment.

Learning to accept the need to give myself a little tender loving care has not always been easy, but it is getting easier for me to understand and withstand each time. It has not been as often and severe as it initially was, but it is still knowing that there are going to be times when it is necessary to give myself a little more TLC, rest, and recharge but be accepting that is just because I am autistic, and things are too much sometimes.