So, if you have noticed, I will write a lot about my medication. Everyone has different opinions about medication. Last year, I had different opinions about medication 11 months ago today, I crashed and burned in the most regrettable moments of my life. I started to understand the necessity of my medication, but it would not be until six weeks ago that I totally understood the necessity of my medication and the quality of life it provides.

I have been taking medications at various points since I was about six years old, but it was not until ultimately when I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome over 25 years ago and the brunt of my behaviors had appeared along with the evolvement that I had bipolar disorder that I had been prescribed the medications that I still am on today.

Since then, they have been proven to work and they have indeed provided me with the quality of life that I have today. The importance of medication was always stressed to me. Almost 20 years ago, I went to vocational training and there were instances where I had occasionally missed a dose of my medicine and as a result, my behaviors had been experienced.

Throughout adulthood, these behaviors did evolve when it was later discovered that I did not take the medication that day. The behaviors were often accelerated by high amounts of caffeine and as a result, it did not prove well. When I began living independently six years ago, I was way off course with my medication adherence. As a result, I was the cause of concern in the environments that I was in and after making one of the most drastic decisions over a year ago, I crashed and burned into the worst person I could be.

I had a manic episode at work and thankfully I have a very understanding employer. We were amid a workplace move and I was at my worst, and while I did start to get back on track, it would be a year since I made that drastic decision that I would understand the necessity to never make unordered decisions again.

About six weeks ago, it was beginning to happen again, causing concern among those that care about me. I had yet made another decision behind the scenes of everyone in my support system and treatment team. I now realize that when people raise concerns about my mental health to others, it is serious in nature along with understanding that when I do not take my medication as prescribed, the behavior that I experience scares others in my vicinity.

It has taken to understand the necessity of my medication and how to properly manage the side effects that I experience along with properly caring for myself in the process. It is also knowing that not every side effect that is listed affects everyone, including myself, and I have proven that which has improved my spirits, even though I have accepted what I have had to accept about myself because of my medication.

In the end, it is knowing that I need to be grateful for the medication and understanding the role it plays in providing me the quality of life that I have and the things that I can do because the medication is to help me and not hurt me. It is totally understanding that I can live the life I have because I have the tools that I need to be well, and that includes medication.