As I am deeply invested in the mental health realm of the work, for most of my independence, I was defying my limits by not taking care of my mental health. As it happens most times, it is when my life becomes overwhelming that I cannot manage my mental health on my own when I do not do what I need to do to take care of myself.

Six years ago, I moved out on my own. I have been blessed with two amazing parents. I cannot deny that. I cannot also deny that I have such an amazing support system that could assist me in any way that they could, however it took for me to experience the reality of understanding the need to take care of myself to realize the things that are important to me and see that if I am always mindful of my mental health that I can excel and do great things.

The primary culprit behind my mental health struggles was that I did move out on my own. Even though I did want to move out on my own, I knew at that moment that I was not prepared to do so. In my first apartment I struggled with everything and adherence to my medication regimen was the primary factor when things got overwhelmed, my old behaviors would appear. With major issues just before the pandemic, I was living with my parents. Even then with the world the way that it was and the many stressors in my life, there were many times when it got bad and out of control. Thankfully, I have a wonderful support system that brought things to life.

As I closed the chapter with my first apartment and secured where I live today, I still struggled with medication adherence. No matter what anyone would tell me, I would not listen to the necessity of taking my medication, and this was said quite often. I wanted to defy the odds by doing as I wanted to and many times it came back to bite me, no matter how I would think that it was a good thing.

Over a year ago, near the time the pandemic ended, I returned to my home church while believing a set of beliefs about myself that in no way aligned with how I truly was. I crashed and burned bad about a year ago and had a manic episode at work. Thankfully, I am blessed to have an extremely accommodating  employer as they provide mental health ancillary services and are known for their dedication to the people that they serve because they are deeply invested in their clientele. They know when they  are not at their best, and a few weeks ago, the signs were evident that I was experiencing what all involved my not adhering to my medication.

Taking care of my mental health, including adhering to all orders of treatment given to me is essential for well-being and taking care of myself by doing what I need to do to be well in addition to services, medication and other ordered elements of treatment is necessary to live my best, which is necessary in this juncture of my life. I feel much better when I do what is necessary for me to be well and stay well. I have lived and learned from my experience and am finally closing the door on that chapter of my life because there were so many negative experiences in my life as a result. I have seen many times in life how people are when they do not take their medication and I am no exception to this rule.